it's been a while

hello, hello!

I don't know why I thought of posting on here.  I was going to write on my other blog, and then I decided I'd rather just write a more informal post on here to say HELLO to all you ladies and tell you about life.  I am so curious what you are all up to!

I found out in January that I am PREGNANT.  yes, gasp.  Especially after I was so adamantly "done".  Surprise!  Anyway, we have told family and some friends randomly (Shea and Hailey tell pretty much everyone we meet), but we haven't done a larger social media broadcast yet, we'll see when that happens. I am 12 weeks right now and due Oct. 5!  So life feels like it is changing quite a bit.  Many of my business plans for my photography have gone out the window and I have been sick and dealing with weight gain (normally I lose a lot of weight the first trimester) and feeling really gross lately.  I am trying to get over that, but it is kind of making me feel depressed when I've gained 10 lbs and it is definitely NOT mostly baby.  I was running 7 - 13 miles 4 times a week and then boom, I got morning sickness and when I run it's like maybe 3 miles if I can make it and I feel like the only thing that takes away my nausea is eating but then I am not moving enough and eating crap that makes me feel awful, and no energy to even make very good meals for the family (I swear the kids eat tacos 4 nights a week right now).

Sorry to complain, haha.  I am just struggling with it.  Between this baby being a total shocker and gaining unexpected weight, I think I am just taking it hard.  But I am starting to feel better and get more energy, and I have been able to continue doing some workouts at home, as well as being more active as a family, even though I'm not getting out and running as much.

I AM happy, too.  I just find myself worrying a lot (very unnecessarily) about whether the baby will be alright and just haven't fully wrapped my head around all of this.  I never thought I would feel so distant while pregnant!  It is a strange feeling.  I think it will change soon, though, as it becomes more real and I let go of some things.  At my midwife appointment, I didn't really get to hear the heartbeat, which I think has effected me more than I realized.  She had a hard time finding it and had to actually push my uterus up to hear it, because it was tilted back. She was satisfied with what she heard (she could only get it in that position for a few seconds), so I trusted her, but my next appointment isn't for another 4 weeks, so I feel a little weird about that for some reason.

Alright.  Enough about that.

School is going alright with Shea.  He is ahead in everything for his grade level and doing a lot better in classes.  We just applied for something called the "Options" program for next year.  It is a full day alternative public school program that is parent run and is all about building community and student led learning.  I am pretty excited about it (so is Shea!).  Anyway, they have very limited space every year and usually it ends up as a lottery to see who ends up in the program or not, so we find out in a couple of weeks if he makes it in the program. And the idea is that you will stay in the program through 8th grade, building a support network for once you reach High School.  I am really hoping he gets in, if not we will keep doing what we have been, but I think it will be really good for him and our family.  Lately schoolwork has been a total chore and it is hard for me to make it fun for him.  I feel so tied by the workbooks and I just don't want to be that homeschool mom that makes my kid hate learning and think he is only worth value when he does a good job on his work.

What else?  We have continued doing our little church plant thing.  We have around 20ish people who come to a monthly gathering.  Next fall we are thinking about starting more of a service also, but we will see.  Even though we have a fairly consistent group, we haven't really found people who want to be committed leaders.  But it's okay, we don't mind if it takes time.

I don't know what else.  Life has basically been nothing but trying to not feel sick, sleeping a ton (I am in bed at like 830 every night and still tired when I wake up!), doing school with Shea, shopping for a new car (our car cannot fit three carseats across the middle), a few photoshoots here and there, and getting out with the kids to hang out with friends.

Alright, kids are coming up for a bedtime story, so I am off to read some Fancy Nancy.  Goodbye!

Stepping back

I'm doing too much.  It doesn't help that I've been slacking on my Bible study which is often the only time I sit down and get in the Word and really pray more than "arrow prayers."  I did it today though, two days' worth to start catching up.

It's hard scheduling things in the evenings when Joe works, because I want to be here when he gets home.  Eating dinner together is often the only time we actually sit and talk, otherwise we'll watch something, and he needs time to do his own thing and relax too.  And he feels valued when I make good dinners, which means I need to make efforts to be free in the early evening too, and make sure I'm keeping up shopping with produce, etc.

He didn't complain (much) but I know Thanksgiving was hard on him.  I know, because it was exhausting and overwhelming for ME, the person who loves people and hosting.  He did so much work moving furniture and seating to set up, and then put everything back the same evening.  And had to work the next day...in fact, he works Friday through Tuesday, and then Wednesday we're hosting a surprise party, plus that's the day my mom comes over. 

I decided not to go to a party I was going to go to tonight - for Joe's sake and mine.

And while I have a list of people I really want to hang out with, I am postponing them or even rescheduling.

The parents of a family in my church are going on a trip next week so I'm helpnig shuttle their kids around Monday-Thursday.

I have people I want to bring meals to.  And I have home projects I want to do.  Serious organizing needs to be done.

Oh and I long to put the tree up!  But I don't want to bug Joe with it at least until Thursday. 

I am embracing this season, but I feel the effects on both Joe and me.

So.

It's been too long

To be perfectly honest, I forgot about this blog, so I'm relieved I didn't miss any posts.

I've been on a cooking streak.  I was motivated because I have been busy so many evenings and haven't prepared good dinners.  I made three batches of spaghetti sauce and gave one to Angela, made 80 freezer burritos with my cousin and gave her 30, and today I made beef stew so we'll have that for dinner and then freeze the leftovers.

I have three more soups planned:  chicken stew, lentil vegetable soup, and split pea/ham soup.  I might do one of the two latter after small group tonight if I'm motivated.  But I do have to get up early in the morning so we'll see. 

Also, I'm hosting Thanksgiving at my house!  At most we'll have 23 people including baby Fernandez (not me, the other Fernandez!!!)  and at least we'll have 17 depending on whether Angela's in labor and her parents are up here.  (Angela's due date is on Thanksgiving day.)  I'm doing turkey, stuffing, gravy, and drinks.  My MIL is doing almost everything else.  A couple relatives are bringing pies and salads.  Originally I was going to do most of the cooking and my MIL was going to host, but it turns out hostessing is harder for her than cooking is, and since I LOVE to host, we decided to switch!

Twice a month (and tomorrow morning) I'm doing childcare for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).  I started out with the 1 year olds because Heather was going to come and bring Azaria and felt more comfortable with someone she knew there.  But Heather hasn't been well so Azaria hasn't come.  And I was getting too worn out with the 1 year olds, lol.  Mainly because I was one of the few adults who constantly interacts with the kids.  There's not a moment I'm not scanning the room, looking for trouble brewing, looking for a kid who needs to be distracted from missing his mom.  So I'm constantly sitting on the floor and picking up babies.  It wasn't working, so I asked to be moved to the 2s.

It's still exhausting, but not as bad.  And I like the 2s better because they can talk (even if I can't always understand them).  We still have some criers, but they're easier to calm down than the 1s.  Last time we had 22 two year olds.  And we're there from 9:15 to 11:30 - two and a half hours.  It's fun but so tiring.

I just realized to avoid day-before-Thanksgiving rush, I have to do my shopping tomorrow!  Wish me luck...

settled.

I'm posting twice in ONE MONTH.  That hasn't happened in a little while. I wanted to share about what is going on though!

I already told Angela, but we are staying put.  After 6 weeks of waiting to hear back, Jeremy and I had a lot more time to think, pray, and discuss about whether we really felt called to uproot and move to Idaho (if they offered us the position, of course).  We decided it really just didn't make sense to us.  We were a little sad to miss out on the training, but taking everything into account, we felt like it wasn't worth it for that when there are plenty of other opportunities out there.

We e-mailed Lloyd and told him that we felt called to North Kitsap and we have decided to intentionally plant a missional church here in our area (which also happens to be one of the LEAST churched counties in the state).  He e-mailed us back saying they had been interviewing some other candidates, which is why they hadn't come to a decision yet, AND that he would like to partner with us and help provide funding for training!  We were totally amazed. We knew we would definitely pursue licensing and accountability through Church of God still, but we didn't know they would want to support us in that way.  It was such a confirmation that we are supposed to be here - best of both worlds, staying in the community we love and have formed many relationships in AND receiving training.  This entire process also really settled for Jeremy's parents that we ARE leaving Indianola church to plant a new community, plus Jeremy's boss has given him a bunch of raises and promotions - he really sees how valuable he is as an employee so we feel very blessed.  His boss also wants to be heavily involved in the church plant.  We have a handful of people and are starting our first meeting at the end of September.  We are so excited about finally doing this!

I am ALSO pleased because I can finally start promoting my business again. I lost a couple of clients because I couldn't commit to their fall/winter dates for birth, so I'm hoping to be able to start getting booked again.  I am getting involved with a birth professionals meetup in the area and am starting to look into becoming a certified lactation specialist as the first step in expanding my business in other ways.

It is amazing how I can go months feeling disconnected, uncertain, discontent...and then, all along you see how things have been prepared for us to stay.  Amber knows how many times I have moved and how much I have longed for a place to put roots.  There are always things you may want to run away from, but I am glad we are sticking around and just facing those things head on.  We were hoping to buy some property in the area in the next year or two, also.

We had VBS (spy kids theme) up at church all week, and I am wiped out.  It was fun, but I taught the 5-6 year olds and had the biggest group, so it was a little exhausting, plus both Hailey and Shea came down with colds.  We are leaving for vacation on Monday to Long Beach with all of Jeremy's family, also.

IN OTHER NEWS:  I chopped all my hair off this weekend (it was bound to happen sooner or later). It is the shortest I have ever cut it and I have never loved it more.  Jeremy can't stop staring at me, he likes me so much better with short hair it is so weird to me.  I even went out and got second piercings on my earlobes, because you can see my ears so much better now and I have been wanting to do it for forever, ha ha.

I took a picture for my website (I just updated it COMPLETELY) so I'll post it here for fun.

That's ALL!

still waiting...and other slightly boring stuff.

I thought the next time I blogged, I would be able to tell you whether we were moving to Idaho or not, but we still have not heard back!  It will be one month this Saturday since the last time we spoke with Lloyd...he told us 3.5 weeks ago that he would be in touch with us after 2 weeks.

He called Jeremy the week after we had visited CDA and told him that he was going to meet with the lead couple the following weekend and then get back with us.  He did say they had some other "options", but it still seemed from the conversation that we were his top choice, unless the couple had something reasons they didn't want us.  When we left CDA, it didn't seem like the lead thought they had much of an influence in the decision about hiring us, as they were always talking in terms of "if YOU choose to take the position".

Anyway, who knows if it is just an unorganized office (he has taken a long time to get back to us in the past), they are looking into other options because the lead is not sold on us, or who knows what else.

It is getting so hard to wait though!  Shea is supposed to be officially registering for Mosaic in just a week and a half, and then everything starts the first week of September.  I want to get on with life!  it is so weird to me how this keeps happening, where we are waiting and waiting to find out about these jobs.  I keep finding myself asking God, "WHY again?? What have we NOT learned that we are supposed to learn??" and this time, we didn't even apply, so I feel like it isn't our fault, haha.

Enough about that!

We are still enjoying our summer anyway!  This past week I have gotten re-motivated to work out a little bit more consistently.  I ran 7 miles the other day - this has been my goal for a while, so now I will move onto 8.  I have also been doing more strength training in the evenings and running with the kids on a super hilly trail we have, which has been helping me increase my time and endurance for running.  I never knew I would enjoy it so much, but it is such a major stress relief and gives me a ton of time to think uninterrupted.

I have been taking the kids out of the house almost every day to run/bike along the trail.  We go 4 miles total, I am amazed at how far Shea can go!  We just took his training wheels off of his bike the other night too, and he wants to keep practicing.  He was complaining a lot about taking the training wheels off whenever we discussed it, so Jeremy and I are really pleased he is so excited about riding. He also has lost 4 teeth now - his front two are already beginning to grow in again.  And he is starting to make some progress reading. This kid is getting so old, I don't even believe he is only 5 1/2 anymore.

I also bought a longboard.  I have been secretly wanting one for yeeeears.  Well, Jeremy knew I wanted one, but I could never justify buying one.  I sold my cello last month though - something I have been meaning to do for a long time.  I never play it because it buzzes and it isn't nice enough to try and fix up.  I will get a better one some day, but for now, I would rather ride a longboard around, ha!  Shea and I went to a parking lot recently and raced up and down (he was on his bike) for an hour. I am getting better, but I hurt myself last week and twisted my knee trying to foot brake.  My knee is better now, but I need to find some flatter areas to practice I think!  Hailey loves to ride it, too.

Today I feel like I accomplished a lot, but looking around the house you would never know it.  I took the kids grocery shopping (four stores), cleaned out the pantry and refrigerator, and prepped a bunch of food.  With working out more (I am trying to lose 5-10 lbs right now), I also am trying to get us back on track eating healthier and on a more strict budget.  I sprouted a huge pot of beans and turned it into bean burgers, chili, and refried beans, which I will freeze some of.  I also made some sprouted hummus, which turned out delicious.  I tried a real recipe and actually bought tahini so that made a huge difference.  I cold brewed some more coffee - we have been just drinking it this way lately, because it is less acidic and quicker in the morning, plus I can have an iced coffee in the afternoon. I have to brew it every 4 or 5 days though...I make about 3 quarts at a time, but we go through it! (yikes). And I have been loving brewing kombucha again!  I am flavoring it with berries and ginger this time for the first time, and the kids love it.  I give them a small glass in the morning with breakfast to make sure they get a good helping of probiotics every day.

Anyway, I'll leave you with some pictures and then be off to start some dinner.

Kids were excitedly watching as this man cut down a tree on our property last week.

I took the kids to Bainbridge Island and we hit the Kid's Museum, park for a picnic and playtime, Bainbirdge bakers for dinosaur cookies and a coffee, and then the library.  Such a fun day, we were all tired out afterward, though!

We have been eating lots of watermelon in the backyard lately

Hailey put all of these clips and hair bands on and was very excited about her style.

playing at the park!

Hailey LOVES riding my longboard like this. She always asks, "can I ride mommy's skateboard??"

Life Lately

I have told myself to sit down and blog so many times, but naps seem to always win over. I meant to blog months ago and let Candice know that we are expecting Baby Fern 2.0!  Amber of course knew early and Becca knew a while ago because she so graciously loaned me her maternity clothes again. I somehow just thought everyone knew because of this, but here I am at 21 weeks pregnant, a baby due thanksgiving day, just now blogging. 

This pregnancy has flown by so fast I can't even believe it. The first trimester was full of just trying to survive the insane fatigue.  I am still nursing Eli and don't have any plans of weaning him. I could definitely feel the toll that growing a baby, nursing Eli, and trying to keep up with normal daily routine took on my body. Once I hit 12 weeks I felt like I could come up for air. I have been feeling great lately. Eli and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week so I can swim and he can play in the daycare and get a lot of energy out! We both enjoy it so so much. My gym takes babies starting at 3 months and I love the daycare workers there so I will definitely be taking this babe once they are old enough. 

We aren't finding out the gender, just as we did with Eli. In fact I may not even get an ultrasound this time around. With Eli it only cost us $40 to get the anatomy scan but with this babe since I am on different insurance the quotes I got ranged from 240-360 and I am thinking it is just not worth it. There are so many other things I would rather spend that money on! 

The last two days Eli hasn't asked to nurse right as he woke up in the morning. I am hoping this will continue and milk can just be before naps and before bed, as a relaxing sleepy thing to do. What he does ask for every morning is his "doose" or juice, which is actually a smoothie. I just use peaches, strawberries, banana, and whey leftover from yogurt making. I need to start adding spinach again as Eli eats everything, so why not cram more nutrition in there! He will drink 20-30 ounces of smoothie a day. He eats non stop and this is one of the easiest things to give him. Happy baby=happy mama. 

We went to Port Townsend with my parents for three nights and then down to Pacific Beach with Pauls parents for 2 nights. It was a busy, full, fun, and exhausting week! Eli did really well with switching sleeping arrangements this often. Especially considering the fact that when we got home he had to sleep in our closet since we only have one room air conditioner and his room was 86 degrees at night. The longer the hot weather went on the more used to it we became, so Eli actually started sleeping in his room even with it being so hot. We just put him to bed with fans blowing and just a diaper on. 

Eli is obsessed with all things that have wheels. He rides this strider bike for more than an hour a day, every day. We let him ride it inside and outside which he loves. He has so many different riding toys and I don't think a day goes by that he doesn't ride every single one for at least a little bit. Every morning Eli back the car out with Paul and then we play outside for an hour or more while eating breakfast, drinking smoothie, and just hanging out. Eli waves to all the cars the passes, on garbage day the last two weeks the garbage men have honked the horn and waved.  I think I forgot how to parent a kid inside 4 walls, all we do is play outside these days! 

After Eli gets out of the gym daycare every day he likes to go stand and watch the aqua aerobics class.  He may not get to do this anymore though because this was when we were trying a one nap a day schedule and we swam at 8am instead of 10am. He has been doing better since we had to switch back to two naps for schedule reasons for 4 days. He stays in his crib till 5:30 now and hasn't been waking till 5 instead of 4:25. The only reason we tried switching to one nap was because he was refusing his afternoon nap 1-2 times a week and he was waking up so so early every morning. He did get 4 molars in 12 days, we went on vacation in two different places, and he had to adjust to more heat that we knew existed in western wa. It has been a crazy month and hopefully his sleep schedule is on the upswing. This mama loves her sleep and want's to enjoy every night of it until baby 2 arrives! 

When it was so hot I was letting Eli watch finger family for both of our sanity. I needed extra rest time and he needed to chill an not run around in an 83 degree house or a 92 degree outdoor temp. We had to stop letting him watch though as it was turning him into a holy terror for the rest of the day. He never wanted to stop watching and he would ask for it throughout the day. Now we just let him watch if we are on a long car ride and he has reached his limit of just sitting, the doctors office, and activities like that. No just wasting time around the house watching finger family. 

This kid loves to be held more and more. He knows there is so much more to see when you are up high and he doesn't want to miss out on anything. Now if I am cooking in the kitchen he needs me to hold him or sit on the counter. He can also stand on a chair but he moves so quickly that it makes me nervous he will fall and hit his head on the tile. 

Speaking of falling, Eli climbed and fell out of his crib yesterday. He has slept in it since and not tried to crawl out so we are hoping he can stay in a while longer. I wouldn't mind moving him to a toddler bed but he moves around so much and likes to sleep with arms through or against crib rails that I don't think he would do well in a bed yet. I think he also needs the walls of the crib to tell him it's nap time. He is instantly calm and sleepy when we lay him down, which isn't true of when he gets on a bed. 

Love to all!
Angela

Interesting Times

This is week 7.  Justin has been on strike for 7 weeks! It's a weird/lovely/tough time for us right now.  Justin is home a lot (only picketing 4 hours a day), but our income has taken a huge hit.  Thankfully we have my mat benefits and his strike pay to cover most bills, but we feel like we are under house arrest and working hard to only spend money on essentials.

This week Justin's schedule is from 6-10 AM, and although it's 9pm now I sent him to bed because he hasn't been sleeping well.  I think the stress of it is getting to him.  I was sitting here in the living room alone thinking that I needed to blog and vent.  I could feel the worry and uncertainty weighing down, and the thought hit me.  I need to pray.  I got a feeling of being so small and God picking me up and carrying me, just like I carry Callum.  Thank you Lord for this picture and this peace.

There's a lot coming up.  We are going to the Philippines!!!! :) :) :)  

(had to stop here because Callum was crying in his crib-turns out he had a couple hives and was very itchy....I suspect white potatoes, he had some a couple hours ago and this has happened before. boo.)

So yes, Callum's allergies.  I don't know if you saw on facebook, but Callum is anaphylactic when it comes to eggs and peanut and probably dairy.  I did not even know how to pronounce anaphylactic when we were at the allergy clinic.  I mumbled the end of the word when I asked the doctor, "so...does this mean Callum is anaph....?" He had a skin test about two months ago, and two weeks ago we brought him in for a peanut challenge, where I fed him peanut butter at increasing amounts every twenty minutes.  He had about a teaspoon of peanut butter and had hives all over, a runny nose and threw up.  They kept giving him benadryl and it wasn't working and then after he threw up they gave him epinephrine.  We were at the hospital for four hours.  I didn't feel stressed or worried or anxious, Callum was a good sport for the most part, but afterwards I was so shaky and exhausted.  I've completely gone off eggs, peanut and dairy (I was hanging on to butter) and his skin is doing so much better.

I am so sick of pumping!! I was hoping to have Callum weaned by the time we go to the Philippines (Aug 16th) but the formula he would need is pretty pricey and benefits would cover it but Justin's were going to kick in, but since he's on strike they haven't.  So onward I pump.  It's getting better though, I have a manual pump now and don't have to pump as often.  It's a lot more discreet and easier to pump anywhere.

I'm also job hunting and my mat benefits end in August, so I would like to start beginning of September, but that means I need a job and interview before we leave for our trip.

haha, here God is my wish list!  I was so stressed, but after praying I feel very at peace right now.  I felt I didn't need to even voice my prayer, he just knew.

There are some things I am really enjoying now and am very thankful for.  Our good friends from when we lived in Kingston just moved to London and now live less than a mile away!  They both got jobs in the area and just happened to buy a house near us.  They moved last weekend, and I can't believe that we have such dear friends living so close and we are all planning on being here for a good chunk of time.

 I can't get over the fact that I'll be in the Philippines in a month and a half.  It is unreal.

Well, I was going to post more pictures of some of my sewing projects but Callum woke up and I had to deal with his reaction, so not this time.  I have been doing a ton of sewing!  Last night I sewed Callum two pairs of scratch sleeves, I was going to buy some because Callum had been scratching so bad when he slept and when I looked into it, I knew I could make some.  I made a prototype to see if they worked and last night I made a couple adjustments and finished the final product.  I'm also sewing gifts now (working on a tea cozy for my sister-in-law) and catching up on mending.  

ok, I really should go.  I need to pump and then sleep.  Thanks for reading! :)