Life Lately

I have told myself to sit down and blog so many times, but naps seem to always win over. I meant to blog months ago and let Candice know that we are expecting Baby Fern 2.0!  Amber of course knew early and Becca knew a while ago because she so graciously loaned me her maternity clothes again. I somehow just thought everyone knew because of this, but here I am at 21 weeks pregnant, a baby due thanksgiving day, just now blogging. 

This pregnancy has flown by so fast I can't even believe it. The first trimester was full of just trying to survive the insane fatigue.  I am still nursing Eli and don't have any plans of weaning him. I could definitely feel the toll that growing a baby, nursing Eli, and trying to keep up with normal daily routine took on my body. Once I hit 12 weeks I felt like I could come up for air. I have been feeling great lately. Eli and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week so I can swim and he can play in the daycare and get a lot of energy out! We both enjoy it so so much. My gym takes babies starting at 3 months and I love the daycare workers there so I will definitely be taking this babe once they are old enough. 

We aren't finding out the gender, just as we did with Eli. In fact I may not even get an ultrasound this time around. With Eli it only cost us $40 to get the anatomy scan but with this babe since I am on different insurance the quotes I got ranged from 240-360 and I am thinking it is just not worth it. There are so many other things I would rather spend that money on! 

The last two days Eli hasn't asked to nurse right as he woke up in the morning. I am hoping this will continue and milk can just be before naps and before bed, as a relaxing sleepy thing to do. What he does ask for every morning is his "doose" or juice, which is actually a smoothie. I just use peaches, strawberries, banana, and whey leftover from yogurt making. I need to start adding spinach again as Eli eats everything, so why not cram more nutrition in there! He will drink 20-30 ounces of smoothie a day. He eats non stop and this is one of the easiest things to give him. Happy baby=happy mama. 

We went to Port Townsend with my parents for three nights and then down to Pacific Beach with Pauls parents for 2 nights. It was a busy, full, fun, and exhausting week! Eli did really well with switching sleeping arrangements this often. Especially considering the fact that when we got home he had to sleep in our closet since we only have one room air conditioner and his room was 86 degrees at night. The longer the hot weather went on the more used to it we became, so Eli actually started sleeping in his room even with it being so hot. We just put him to bed with fans blowing and just a diaper on. 

Eli is obsessed with all things that have wheels. He rides this strider bike for more than an hour a day, every day. We let him ride it inside and outside which he loves. He has so many different riding toys and I don't think a day goes by that he doesn't ride every single one for at least a little bit. Every morning Eli back the car out with Paul and then we play outside for an hour or more while eating breakfast, drinking smoothie, and just hanging out. Eli waves to all the cars the passes, on garbage day the last two weeks the garbage men have honked the horn and waved.  I think I forgot how to parent a kid inside 4 walls, all we do is play outside these days! 

After Eli gets out of the gym daycare every day he likes to go stand and watch the aqua aerobics class.  He may not get to do this anymore though because this was when we were trying a one nap a day schedule and we swam at 8am instead of 10am. He has been doing better since we had to switch back to two naps for schedule reasons for 4 days. He stays in his crib till 5:30 now and hasn't been waking till 5 instead of 4:25. The only reason we tried switching to one nap was because he was refusing his afternoon nap 1-2 times a week and he was waking up so so early every morning. He did get 4 molars in 12 days, we went on vacation in two different places, and he had to adjust to more heat that we knew existed in western wa. It has been a crazy month and hopefully his sleep schedule is on the upswing. This mama loves her sleep and want's to enjoy every night of it until baby 2 arrives! 

When it was so hot I was letting Eli watch finger family for both of our sanity. I needed extra rest time and he needed to chill an not run around in an 83 degree house or a 92 degree outdoor temp. We had to stop letting him watch though as it was turning him into a holy terror for the rest of the day. He never wanted to stop watching and he would ask for it throughout the day. Now we just let him watch if we are on a long car ride and he has reached his limit of just sitting, the doctors office, and activities like that. No just wasting time around the house watching finger family. 

This kid loves to be held more and more. He knows there is so much more to see when you are up high and he doesn't want to miss out on anything. Now if I am cooking in the kitchen he needs me to hold him or sit on the counter. He can also stand on a chair but he moves so quickly that it makes me nervous he will fall and hit his head on the tile. 

Speaking of falling, Eli climbed and fell out of his crib yesterday. He has slept in it since and not tried to crawl out so we are hoping he can stay in a while longer. I wouldn't mind moving him to a toddler bed but he moves around so much and likes to sleep with arms through or against crib rails that I don't think he would do well in a bed yet. I think he also needs the walls of the crib to tell him it's nap time. He is instantly calm and sleepy when we lay him down, which isn't true of when he gets on a bed. 

Love to all!
Angela

Interesting Times

This is week 7.  Justin has been on strike for 7 weeks! It's a weird/lovely/tough time for us right now.  Justin is home a lot (only picketing 4 hours a day), but our income has taken a huge hit.  Thankfully we have my mat benefits and his strike pay to cover most bills, but we feel like we are under house arrest and working hard to only spend money on essentials.

This week Justin's schedule is from 6-10 AM, and although it's 9pm now I sent him to bed because he hasn't been sleeping well.  I think the stress of it is getting to him.  I was sitting here in the living room alone thinking that I needed to blog and vent.  I could feel the worry and uncertainty weighing down, and the thought hit me.  I need to pray.  I got a feeling of being so small and God picking me up and carrying me, just like I carry Callum.  Thank you Lord for this picture and this peace.

There's a lot coming up.  We are going to the Philippines!!!! :) :) :)  

(had to stop here because Callum was crying in his crib-turns out he had a couple hives and was very itchy....I suspect white potatoes, he had some a couple hours ago and this has happened before. boo.)

So yes, Callum's allergies.  I don't know if you saw on facebook, but Callum is anaphylactic when it comes to eggs and peanut and probably dairy.  I did not even know how to pronounce anaphylactic when we were at the allergy clinic.  I mumbled the end of the word when I asked the doctor, "so...does this mean Callum is anaph....?" He had a skin test about two months ago, and two weeks ago we brought him in for a peanut challenge, where I fed him peanut butter at increasing amounts every twenty minutes.  He had about a teaspoon of peanut butter and had hives all over, a runny nose and threw up.  They kept giving him benadryl and it wasn't working and then after he threw up they gave him epinephrine.  We were at the hospital for four hours.  I didn't feel stressed or worried or anxious, Callum was a good sport for the most part, but afterwards I was so shaky and exhausted.  I've completely gone off eggs, peanut and dairy (I was hanging on to butter) and his skin is doing so much better.

I am so sick of pumping!! I was hoping to have Callum weaned by the time we go to the Philippines (Aug 16th) but the formula he would need is pretty pricey and benefits would cover it but Justin's were going to kick in, but since he's on strike they haven't.  So onward I pump.  It's getting better though, I have a manual pump now and don't have to pump as often.  It's a lot more discreet and easier to pump anywhere.

I'm also job hunting and my mat benefits end in August, so I would like to start beginning of September, but that means I need a job and interview before we leave for our trip.

haha, here God is my wish list!  I was so stressed, but after praying I feel very at peace right now.  I felt I didn't need to even voice my prayer, he just knew.

There are some things I am really enjoying now and am very thankful for.  Our good friends from when we lived in Kingston just moved to London and now live less than a mile away!  They both got jobs in the area and just happened to buy a house near us.  They moved last weekend, and I can't believe that we have such dear friends living so close and we are all planning on being here for a good chunk of time.

 I can't get over the fact that I'll be in the Philippines in a month and a half.  It is unreal.

Well, I was going to post more pictures of some of my sewing projects but Callum woke up and I had to deal with his reaction, so not this time.  I have been doing a ton of sewing!  Last night I sewed Callum two pairs of scratch sleeves, I was going to buy some because Callum had been scratching so bad when he slept and when I looked into it, I knew I could make some.  I made a prototype to see if they worked and last night I made a couple adjustments and finished the final product.  I'm also sewing gifts now (working on a tea cozy for my sister-in-law) and catching up on mending.  

ok, I really should go.  I need to pump and then sleep.  Thanks for reading! :)

something new

Phew.  We got through a busy week last week with end of year events and lots of fun times with friends.  I did two photo sessions this week which both turned out to be a blast and the pictures turned out beautifully.  I have some more coming up this month and  I am especially excited about one that will be taking place in about a month or two - I am doing the pictures of the new birth center coming to Poulsbo of their facility for their website!  I am slowly building up connections with people in the area and becoming known as a birth photographer, and this will be another great and natural connection.

Amber! I am so happy you got to go on that trip to DC, I truly smiled so big as I looked at the pictures of you during the cake fight! ha!

We have something kind of life changing and interesting that came up recently though.  We haven't told many people at all - only family, basically, and not everyone. I am sure you remember when we we applied for the church plant position for Federal Way area with Church of God about a year and a half ago.  Well, when we weren't chosen for that position, Lloyd (the director for the PNW), told us that he wanted us to consider applying for the next church plant opportunity that would be coming up in 6 months or so.  It came up (about a year later) last November.  At that point, both Jeremy and I decided that we were not going to apply.  It was for Coeur D'alene, Idaho and we didn't feel strongly enough about moving there to uproot our family.  I told Jeremy that the only way we would consider applying was if Lloyd emailed us directly asking us to.

He never did.  Jeremy has continued to get a LOT of raises this year at work and has been offered basically partnership in the business he works for.  I have been slowly building up my clientele, meeting tons of people in our community lately, and have been enjoying our life here SO MUCH, I can't even tell you how much it breaks my heart to think about leaving.

April 15th we received an email from Lloyd about the church plant.  Apparently they have a lot more resources for this one and were looking to hire two people for it.  They picked the lead back in January, but they didn't want to go forward with any of the other candidates until he saw what we were up to.

Since he emailed us, we figured we better go ahead and apply and see what happens.

We didn't hear back again until this week.  Partly because we told him we couldn't travel to Idaho until after May, since I was on call for a birth and couldn't travel.

It is funny though, because one reason we didn't want to apply back in November is that we just weren't emotionally ready to go through another long waiting process.  Last time we felt like we couldn't live in the present and felt disconnected from everything around us, sort of numb.  Jeremy's mom said something that really helped me this time though, that we needed to live fully where we were, even if we end up being called somewhere else.  I have been able to just keep investing in relationships and plan like we will be here for now.  We have had a lot of time to process moving or staying and what each would look like and what would be a big enough motivator to make us move.

For so long, we have tried to go somewhere else...this is the one time that we feel so rooted and at home that it makes it a very difficult decision.  But, I had said just about a week before we received the email that I felt like something was about to change in our lives.

So, long story short, we haven't made any decision yet.  Our family is going to Idaho the second weekend of July to stay with the family they already hired and basically see how we feel about them and learn more about the specific vision for this community and church. I know I have moved a lot of times, but as a family, we have never moved so far away from our support network of family and friends.

It feels REALLY CRAZY.  I am excited about the possibilities and the training and experience we will receive. I think it will be really good for both of us (especially Jeremy) to get away from his parents and their church.  But I have also spent a good deal of time grieving the possibility of leaving this place.  There is a pang in my heart when I think about it.  I love our beach and community.  I love the life my children have here.  I am so looking forward to the school Shea would be entering in the fall and the support it will have.  There are people who have asked me to photograph their births and I SO want to be there for that, but I have had to put their requests on hold for now.

It might not happen.  We have tried to fight it and say we would say "no" no matter what, but it feels imminent.  So dear friends, please pray that we know what in the world to choose.  I know just because we are blessed here does not mean we won't be even more blessed there.  The call is strong and there is something about being sought out like this to be a part of something that could impact so many lives.  But we also know that just because we may be "picked" by the district for this position does not mean it is our calling.

just some things

Hello! I am tired right now, but the kids are playing nicely and I had some pictures from my camera to upload to the computer, so I thought I would do a little post while they load.

I cannot tell you how happy I am that school is over!  Life has been busy the last couple of weeks - good, happy, socializing with people busy though!  I love it.  I go through spurts where I feel like I am so disconnected from everyone and then I suddenly do tons of things with people like almost every day and I feel SO energized and I remember how much I need to get out.  This weekend we hosted a bonfire, hung out at the beach on Sunday, Monday night I had a ladies night for Beauty Society, Wednesday I had a new friend and her daughter over for a playdate (her and Hailey play so well together, it is adorable), and today we went to another playdate, hung out at the beach with friends and watched Shea's preschool "rodeo" he has been practicing for all week.

Ah.  Plus, I have finally had the energy to get out in the garden (a little bit - everything is growing so well this year, I LOVE it) keep the house clean, and make something other than tacos for dinner. T-ball will be over in two weeks and we just bought a tent and are taking the kids camping at La Push in a couple of weeks, which will be our first real "rustic" camping trip with them.

I had a kidney infection almost a month ago that knocked me out for over a week.  I received really bad care at the urgent care clinic on Bainbridge Island and ended up in the ER after a weekend of super high fevers that would not go down.  Worse feeling in the world is being a sick mommy and not being able to take care of your kids.  I felt like a brand new person after getting an IV and getting my meds straightened out though.

I don't know what else to share!  I have a bunch of fun little photoshoots coming up that I am doing for some friends for free, just to practice and build up my portfolio some more. I have been running for the past month.  Yesterday I ran 6 miles!  I am totally amazed I can run that far, and even more amazed that I LOVE IT.  I have never really gotten into running in the past, and now I am addicted. Jeremy and I have a deal that if he gets to go disc golfing, once the kids are in bed, I go for a 30-60 minute run.  I think I like it because no little children can interrupt me.  I can just GO.  I am thinking about training for a race, but I don't really need the motivation anymore.  My next goal is 7 miles, and then I want to be able to run to the end of Indianola road and back, which might be around 10 miles round trip, not sure.

The kids have been fighting almost constantly lately and I am feeling the need to figure out what to do in this new stage with changing dynamics between them. 

I made a "cliff" today to hang up in the kitchen and Shea made pictures of each of us (as toy story characters, OF COURSE) and now if he disobeys or acts unkindly, etc. his person gets moved to the edge of the cliff.  Same for Hailey, me, and Jeremy. We talked about how when he is still at the top of the cliff, it is easier for mommy to help him so he can come back away from the edge.  Then there is a branch on the side of the cliff, so if he continues to disobey, he falls and is holding on to it.  This is if he throws an insane screaming tantrum which has been happening a LOT lately.  The idea is that he can always come back, but he may need more help from me the further he falls and it will take more work to get back to the top where it is safe (which is a good reminder for ME to stop and help him, too).  I guess it is kind of like the "doghouse" thing some parents do, but I feel like this shows that it is his actions that causes him to "fall", rather than just being put in a cage for disobeying, if that makes sense. Anyway, I don't know how it will work, but so far it seems to be a good visual, because he can kind of see where he is standing and improve his behavior,and he takes ownership for it since he helped make it.  He basically loses privileges along with how far he is on the cliff and there is possibility for an award if he stays at the very top away from the edge. Ha, that was a long explanation. These are the things I lay awake at night thinking about. 

I wish I could share pictures with you, but we have decided to go a bit media free over the summer.  We packed up the Wii and put away the DVD player, and since I am done with school we even put our internet connection on hold for the summer.  I can make my phone a wifi hotspot when I need to do something quick on the computer, but we don't have a ton of data on our plan at a high speed so I can't upload pictures unless I take the laptop up to the church.

I guess that is it. I made pudding and we are having homemade pizza for dinner.  I also just picked an insane amount of kale from our garden (we have almost 20 plants!) which I am going to turn into kale chips.  Tonight I am going to a DoTerra essentials oils party a mom from Shea's preschool is throwing.  I don't know much about essential oils, but have wanted to learn about it for a while, so I'm looking forward to it (plus, getting out of the house without KIDS makes it even better).  I hope you are all enjoying your spring so far.  Candice, I am amazed every time I see you post a picture of Callum on Facebook - he just looks so different and so much older now!  

A Friend Goes Home

Today was weird.

I went to the orthopedist about my finger because it was swollen and I was concerned, but he was like "It looks great!  You can take off the splint now!"  Of course the problem before had been that I couldn't straighten it, but now because of the splint I was wearing, I can't bend it!  I walked to the PT center I'm so familiar with and made an appointment for hand therapy.  I was annoyed because I had to put in all my information again, as if I hadn't already been a patient there.  It took so long.

Then I was going to visit Nana who is in the hospital again and had surgery yesterday.  Then I was going to see if Heather's mom wanted a visit (I'd heard she was in the hospital with pneumonia.)  On my way to see Nana, I ran into some friends.  I was like "Hey!  Are you here to visit Sue?"  And they said, "Amber, Sue died this morning."

Shock is really the only thing I felt.  She's had all kinds of cancer and multiple autoimmune diseases, yet she's always pulled through.  And she was always over at Heather's house helping out even when I knew she felt terrible.  So when I heard she was in the hospital with pneumonia it just seemed like all the other times when she's gotten so sick she's almost died.  She was sixty years old. 

So I ran to where the family was.  I know I didn't have to run but I couldn't handle my own shock.  I sat with Heather, read to Zari, just really sat because other people were taking care of things like food and planning a meal for the family that evening and there wasn't anything I could do.  They were willing to let me see Sue's body and say goodbye.  I had many intimate conversations with Sue over the last few years.

Kathy was expecting me to meet them to see Nana because I'd already asked if I could come visit after my appointment.  Heather told me it was okay for me to tell Kathy so I went upstairs and told her.  We went down together, not much to do...stand around talking with other people who are close to the family, not knowing how to help...occasionally bursting into tears ourselves.  The family left and we went back upstairs.  I spent a few moments with Nana and then Mom and I decided to go out to lunch.

And then...the rest of the day happened, I guess.  I took a long, hard nap.  Now I'm making soup and watching Survivor and posting at the same time...I have dealt with so little death in my life.  And now I'm at a loss for comforting...all I can do is sit and cry and sometimes grieving people need that company and sometimes they just need people to stop asking "how can I help" and just have some alone time.

Anyway.  I'm a little muddled in the head right now.  I'm fine, just muddled!

Becconing Amberlance (or, The Early Years): For Your Enjoyment

I just found the two old blogs becca and I used to keep..if you get bored and want some insight into our teen years.

Becconing Amberlance Archives (Dec 2004-Apr 2006)
Becconing Amberlance (Apr 2006-Dec 2007)

Here's a sample from one of the first posts:

"Part of the reason Amber and I started this blog was so we could model our perfect friendship to those of you who long to have the same fulfillment in your life."

And becca - it seems I'm the one with a "natural layer" now!  ;)

Just Stuff

We almost got a foster child this last weekend.  We had known about her situation 8 months ago (she's a friend of a friend) and she needed emergency placement this weekend...and I was shocked that Joe (reluctantly) said yes, only for the weekend.

I cancelled my plans to go on the church ladies' retreat and began cleaning up the house, as I was told she would be arriving within a few hours.  But a few hours passed and I hadn't heard from the social worker.  I called again and it turned out they had found a placement with family - which is REALLY good, way better for her.  But it still broke my heart because I don't know what God has...if Joe will ever say yes again.  I was so mad at God.  I had just gotten to the point where I was like "Okay God, maybe we'll never have kids...I'll trust you and obey."  Then this happens and I get my hopes up, only to have them dashed.  It felt like God was teasing me.  As soon as I become okay with no kids, he dangles a kid in front of me!  I know that's not really what happened but I don't understand why he even bothered to have them call us at all.

(I started this post yesterday but got interrupted...so sorry for the abrupt topic change...)

On Wednesday I had 3+ hours of dental work done under sedation.  I took a pill an hour before we left for the appointment...I don't even remember getting in the car.  I just woke up on the couch.  Halcyon is crazy stuff.  Needless to say I'm a little sore but alright.  The dental appointment was because I apparently grind my teeth in my sleep, and managed to crack one tooth and remove a filling from another tooth.  So now they're supposed to fit me for a mouthguard.  Guess I should call them about that.  *sigh* I hate the dentist...I have some Halcyon left so maybe I'll take that.  (Totally kidding!)

Let's seee...did I tell you about my finger splint?  I did something to the tendon (no idea how) and the orthopedist says I have to wear this splint for six weeks.  I am great at typing without my left middle finger now.

Also I appear to be getting sick again.  I had a bad cold the month of March.  Now I seem to have another cold.  It's still weird to be sick.  It makes me wonder exactly how well the immunosuppressants work - like, how much of an immune system do I even have?  I think I know how I got sick - a lady at Bible study was sick last week and she sat next to me.  At the time I thought "Amber remember, you have to be careful, you're immunosuppressed" but I'm so used to not caring if I'm around sick people because I never used to get sick...anyway.  I was productive this morning and then the cold really hit me hard so I watched tv.