another post...one of those days...

Ever have one of those days where you wake up "on the wrong side of the bed" and can't seem to snap out of it?  And then you think you're faking being all happy pretty well, until your asked if you had a long night?  yeah.  I just had one of those days.  I definitely had a major heart problem today.  Oh I hate these days.  I hate who I am on these days.  I find myself in a constant dialogue chastising myself for what I am actually doing, the words I am saying, the thoughts I am thinking.

It didn't help that I woke up (at 6:30 with a smiley but poopy baby and a 3 year old who doesn't understand why he can't come in our room and wake up the baby so early) with one of those not-enough-sleep headaches that stays with you all day no matter what you do.  And I snapped at my son.  I hate it when I snap.

I slightly made up for it with pumpkin waffles from a trader joes mix.  And then we went to school.  School was OKAY, but let me tell you, my heart was not in it today.  I wanted to call in sick and realized I couldn't, and that just wouldn't make anything better anyway.

I came home and decided I better not try to accomplish much, but spend time with my littles.  Hailey played beautifully while I made Shea lunch.  He gobbled it up, and then I decided we would make cookies.  My boy loves to be a "maker" as he calls himself.  We had a lot of chocolate chips, so we made chocolate chip cookies.  I measured everything out, and then let him put it all in.  I think next time I am going to write up a little recipe with pictures and see if he can follow the directions on his own.  Then I let him play with the water in the sink and wash his bath toys.  That always entertains him for at least 30 minutes.

Then we had to be back to my in-laws at the church by 2PM, so I could feed and put Hailey down for a nap and get to my dental appointment by 3.  I kind of acted out of impatience, and I feel bad for it.  it was 2:29, and I was sitting there, worried that they would be late.  Now, I trust my in-laws and KNOW they will be back if they say they will.  I kept saying, "no, just wait a few more minutes...", but I also knew that if you are more than ten minutes late, my dentist charges you $40.  I called and asked where they were a few minutes past the time I had to leave.  I didn't mean to sound rude or impatient, I truly just wanted to make sure I hadn't told them the wrong time.  But, I said "OH, well I had to leave at 2:30.".  really, becca? it's like 2 minutes past 2:30 and they are right around the corner, you will be fine.  Why sound so rude and ingrateful?  I was getting free babysitting and they were packing it into their busy day.  I got in my car and left as they pulled up, which means I didn't even get to communicate what I meant to, which is that I just wanted to make sure I didn't say the wrong time!  Apparently they said something to Jeremy.  Which tomorrow, hopefully I can put right and apologize about.  I hate saying something in a tone I don't mean to.  It happened all day.

Yes, and then I went to get 5 fillings done.  I thought it was 4, but the dentist decided to do 5, since they are all on the same side.  She almost the last one on the other side too, but she ran out of time.  I was nauseous, had a headache, and hungry on my way to my appointment.  I don't know why.  Maybe I was nervous?  Or just felt sick from feeling so totally not myself that day.  But let me tell you.  I felt 100 times better after my appointment.  I love my new dentist.  She is very thorough, down to earth, and efficient!  I didn't really feel any pain, except one time she drilled a little and it was sensitive, but for some reason the numbing stuff wasn't going as deep as it was supposed to.  But it was fine.  Maybe it was because I got to lie down on a chair, kid free, for 2 hours.  I don't know, but I left happier. 

I thought I would get a funny numbed face picture, but I actually looked pretty normal afterward.  Which is funny, because my last dentist filled one tiny cavity and I couldn't move half my face for like 5 hours afterward.  This time, the numbness wore off after about 2 hours, and I never had trouble moving my face.  And I only have one more little cavity to get filled and I am DONE!!!

After I picked up the kids, we came home and had 30 minutes together as a family before Jeremy had to go to Men's group.  I threw together some pasta (using this AMAZING butternut squash spaghetti sauce from Costco - so good!) and a salad and we were actually able to eat dinner together.  After Jer left, I got both kids ready for bed, and Shea played while I got Hailey asleep.  I read to Shea for 15 minutes and tucked him in, and both kids were asleep by 7:30!

I was good, and decided to work out.  Here I am after a 40 minute sculpting work out.  Don't ask me why I took a picture.  Also, don't ask me why I still haven't showered 2 hours later.

Then I cleaned the kitchen.

before:

after:

And I made Jeremy's lunch for tomorrow and a bunch of eggrolls.  I promised Tawny I would make some for snack at school, since it's "e" week, and we try to do snacks that start with the letter of the week.  Yes, we go all out. haha.

These are some things I picked up for Shea's birthday!  Well, the duck is Hailey's from someone...but the feathers and piece of yellow foam will be for playdough.  I'm going to have a table set up for kids ot make blue and yellow ducks with googly eyes, feathers, and some feet I will cut out of the yellow foam.  I still need to buy some cream of tartar so I can make the playdough, too.  I'm trying to keep it simple.  I dont' really want to "run" games for the kids, but I want a few planned activities, because we aren't doing presents.  Just cake, really.

This is a picture of my class from "C" week.  They got to wear Costumes from the box, so I let them keep them on during recess.  A tigger, a cow, and a princess.  haha, I love it.

I also got my book in the mail on Friday!  I don't think I told you yet that I am starting a discussion group with my mom's group.  I am very excited!  We are going to meet once or twice a month starting in November, and I have 4-5 ladies planning on attending.  I am especially excited because at least one of them  does not attend church and as far as I know, is not a christian.  This book is pretty widely accepted even with secular or non-christian faiths, because of the basic principle that gratefulness can change your life...but the author is obviously a believer of Jesus Christ and brings everything back to the grace He gives.  I am looking forward to some really great discussion!

Anyway, I don't know how there is always so much to write about in a post :)  I have been working on compiling all of our home videos of Shea into one shorter version, so I'm going to work on that until Jeremy comes home.  I am through the first year!  It is so much fun to watch these and see so much of his personality   at that young age.  I am hoping to finish it and have it set up at his birthday for people to view as they please. I'll share it with you when I'm done too!

I hope your day has gone better than mine!  Although, I do have to be thankful and praise God that he is all about redemption.  My evening was redeemed and my heart feels back on track.  It is good (although, hard) to be humbled.  I kind of feel like my heart is like my teeth.  When I go a long time without proper "homecare" (not being held accountable to do my devotions, barely attending church because my kids keep me preoccupied the entire service, etc.), decay builds up.  Then I finally cry out to God to simply "HELP!"  God is drilling out the bits of decay and patching it up with his love and grace, and sometimes when I am in the midst of it, I don't know it, because I find myself going numb to those around me, and then I wake up and see the good of it all.

I'll leave you with one more picture of my baby, because every time I hold her I can't seem to get enough of her.  I don't know why this is so much more than with Shea.  Maybe I'm getting sentimental in my old age.