It has been a long and crazy month.

I can't believe it has been over a month since I last posted.  This month has been long and short all at once.  I spent 2 weeks of this month down in Salem while my grandma was in the hospital, and then after she passes away planning the funeral.  I may have only seen my grandparents 3x a year, but it is never easy to lose them.  All the sudden you realize all the traditions they created and how special each one was.  I am thankful all of her family was around her in her last hours.  Thankful for such a supportive husband that made sure I ate protein rich food when I probably would have forgotten to eat. Thankful for a family that agreed with grandmas plan at the end of her life.  But I still miss her, and that will never change.  

Here she is, bright red lipstick laying on the beach on her honeymoon in 1947 at the age of 23.  She was so beautiful and as my grandpa said in a letter that he wrote to his parents telling them about her, and that he would marry her: "you don't have to worry about Gertrude because there isn't any better".  

The amazing thing is that no matter how consumed I was with family and my grandma's passing this little thumper in my belly kept growing away.  I just turned 17 weeks on Thursday and have been feeling pretty good.  It actually seems that the farther along in my pregnancy I go, the less pregnant I look, but I think that has more to do with losing a lot of water weight and gaining baby/belly weight.  My scrub pants no longer fit, they look like non stretchy leggins.  Or like someone trying to squeeze into pants 2 sizes to small.  I just ordered maternity scrubs online because my regular scrub store doesn't sell them.  But those should be all the maternity clothes I need because Becca you hooked me up!  Today was the first day I felt caught up on life and had the energy to look through the bin you gave me (and all my other clothes are feeling snug) and there is so much stuff in there, and it's all so cute!  I can't thank you enough!  

This is a crappy panorama because the crib and banner don't line up, but I was too lazy to take another one when I noticed, but Baby's room is essentially complete.  I will probably add a banner and a mobile once I know baby's gender (I think we are finding out) but we are only having one ultrasound so if baby doesn't cooperate then I guess baby will be a surprise!  Ultrasound is scheduled for August 28 and they told me to drink 32oz of water an hour before and not pee.  Um, I don't know if the people who made those rules have ever been pregnant because there is no way that is going to work.  I am going to shoot for 24 ounces and hope I don't pee my pants.  This baby is taking up half my bladder space and it is only 5.1 inches long right now!  I can't imagine what I will feel like when I am 22 weeks pregnant at this ultrasound! 

Maxi skirts are my new favorite thing.  Stretchy around the waist.  Basically they are fancy yoga pants.  I wear them on a regular basis now.  

I have still been trying to swim on a regular basis but being out of town so much has thrown a kink in it.  I will get back on track soon!  

My mom is a rockstar.  About a month ago she came over and helped me paint baby's room grey and the crib.  I love it all. 

My favorite maxi skirt.  

Paul at the firework stand- It was our last year going to the Muckleshoots because it is not a safe place for children.  We only stayed out till like 9:45 because I had to work the next morning and was tired, but it was fun! 

The kitties have been swarming me every time I am home, I don't think they like us being gone.  They do love it when I nap or read a book tho! 

I had the genius idea of bringing shorts and a tank top to work so I could change out of my long pants scrubs before leaving and walking in 90 degree weather.  Best idea ever since my car is usually sweltering inside.  

Some pictures from my two weeks in Salem.  I spent a lot of time holding my grandmas hand.  I can't think of a place I would have rather been in those last few days.  A dress my grandma wore as a child that has always been hanging in her house.  If Paul and I have a girl i want pictures of her in it. :)  

We also spent a lot of time hanging out with my grandpa, who we call Pop.  He lives in the assisted living/nursing home part of their huge complex.  It is super nice there, and if you have ever been to a nursing home you know most of them smell like pee.  This one doesn't and everything is super nice.  In the picture below we were hanging out on the deck by his room. 

Do you see how classy that wedding invitation was?!  Pop and Grandma were married 65 years, and it will be 66 in August. :) 

Pop loves looking at old pictures.  Here he is looking through an album of pictures of the amazing yard and garden they kept for years!  To the right he is all spiffied up for the memorial service.  

Below is the picture table.  My grandma was so gorgeous!  I loved looking at all the pictures of her all together. The service was beautiful.  I would say 100-150 people showed up with only 2 days notice. 

After the service we had a family meal with Chinese take out.  The place we always ate from for my grandmas birthday.  Here Pop is holding his almost 1 year old great grandson.  Eamon was the only thing making everyone smile that day.  We needed him. :) 

I was soooo busy when I got home.  The house had been neglected for 2 weeks.  I only came home for a 23 hour period in that two weeks and that was enough time to do a load of laundry, go to my midwife appointment, and meet our friend Joel for little get together.  I felt way better after I got this list done, and amazingly got it all done in one day.  And I don't usually scoop cat boxes but we got home late and Paul forgot to scoop because we were all out of schedule and routine with being gone so long, so that day was my exception. 

We will probably get 10 tomatoes out of our garden this year.  Apparently you need to water a garden for it to grow. ;)  First I wasn't feeling good and then we were gone.  And all the other times I just forgot.  Maybe next year. :) 

Baby's room before I took the dart board down and cut the map into pieces.  I had been putting off buying the map on amazon and then when I went to costco they had a two pack of maps (one USA one world) for the same price I was going to pay for one on amazon! 

Eating lunch with my kitties, clothes are totally overrated when it is 80+ degrees outside and you don't own an airconditioner.  I didn't put a shirt on until I had to go run errands.  

Home depot cuts wood for free!  To make the map into three pieces I needed three equal wood boards.  I bought a huge board and then this dude cut it all up for me.  So nice! 

Tomorrow I head to Moses Lake for my dear friends wedding reception.  She got married on Tuesday.  I didn't go because she is the one who did a 14 mile round trip hike up a mountain for her wedding.  About 20 people were able to go, including a photographer friend, and I can't wait to see pictures.  The few that have been posted are breathtaking!  I can't wait to see her in person with her hair all done up and her wedding dress on. 

Do you see that backdrop?!  Pictures to cherish for a lifetime!  I made their wedding card with my Silhouette, I was glad for an excuse to get it out and use it again.  It seems I have only been keeping up with daily activities and have been putting crafting and blogging to the wayside.  I also finally got around to making nice labels for my dresser that stores all my craft stuff and a few bins.  Someday all my bins will be labeled like this! 

And that's the end ladies.  Paul and I just celebrated our 3rd year anniversary yesterday by going to the DOL after he got off work to license our new car.  Ill have to post pictures of the car sometime, it's really nice and he loves it, so it's a double win.  We sold our accord within 18 hours of posting it on craigslist.  We sold it for blue book even though it needed $1200 of work done on it, kinda crazy what people will pay for a working honda!  Oh yes back to anniversary, then we went to Costco for dinner because neither of us wanted to cook, but we didn't want to eat out either because all we did in Salem was eat out the last week!  Then we went home so Paul could change out of his work clothes then headed to the river for a little walk and people watching and capped off the night by visiting Paul's grandparents, who we don't visit often enough.  It was a nice relaxed evening. :)  

Hope all you ladies are doing great! 

Thursday nights are the best

Hello dear friends,

I just spent about a good hour at the feet of Jesus.  I love the feeling of peace and wholeness I feel after giving him my burdens.  Have you heard the song, Rising Sun by All Sons and Daughters?  I can't get enough of it right now.

Justin is playing hockey tonight, and after he left I kept thinking about one of my students that has been pushing my buttons all week.  I just replaying over and over in my mind the testing he was putting me through.  He has been arguing with me about grammar, asking me repeat 'sounds' I make when I explain the difference between a high and a low sound and putting other students down.  Earlier today I thought about how I couldn't wait for him to take the test tomorrow to show him how much he doesn't know.   -what kind of attitude is this?!   I am so thankful right now for the clarity and truth God bestows on us at times like this.  Yes, I'll probably have a word with him tomorrow and talk to my boss about it, but I don't feel angry anymore.

This week has been interesting.  I was reminded this week that I have no idea where my students come from and what their backgrounds are and what they have gone and are going through.  I especially find this true because we have such a high turnover of students.  This week I found out one of my students is a medium, which led to a really interesting conversation about spirits with my co-workers.  I find I need discernment so much in these moments.  It sure makes for some interesting thinking as I try to filter truth out of these conversations.  Right now I don't see a significance or reason for these conversations, but I do strongly feel that the Lord is at work in what I do.

I think I'm trying to ramble but it's not really working, sometimes I feel like that's what I do all day because I talk all the time.  I am so thankful that tomorrow is Friday.  We have been getting insanely hot weather.  It's 10:20 PM, 84 degrees, but with humidity feels like 104. Help! Tomorrow is supposed to feel like 109.  :(

I hope you girls had a good week, I was thinking about you guys today.  I'm so thankful to have this blog!

VBS

...is finally over!  And the last three days went much better than the first two.

Wednesday:  C's mom had taken away the use of game-playing on the iPad for two weeks, one week ago.  She told him that if he behaved well at VBS today, he could get the iPad back that night (one week early.)  And yeah, he was a perfect angel.  We took Jasmine to the vet.  She had blood in her stool, not to mention she's the one who's been marking the carpet.  Her blood/urine/fecal tests all came back fine.  So now we are forcing antibiotics down her throat.  The first few times, it was so sad.  She wouldn't swallow the pill and it tasted really bad, so she was foaming at the mouth because it was so nasty.  She cowers when she knows we're trying to catch her, and cries. 

We finally got it down her throat today.  She won't voluntarily eat wet food, but we crushed the pill and mixed it into wet food, diluted it, put it in a syringe, and forced it down her throat so at least she would swallow. 

Thursday:  C, now with the iPad, had little incentive for good behavior and received several time-outs.  I officially was relieved of my first-grade teaching responsibilities, because I had to stay with C for every second.  I have to admit, it's nice to have a kid hanging on your arm and laying his head in your lap.  But I was cool, giving him loves while making sure he knew he was expected to sit up, walk on his own, and listen to the teachers.  This took several time outs and one "let's go away and chill out for a few minutes."  He was so openly defiant.  I mean, he's sitting there in time out and sobbing and looking at me like I'm so mean, and I say, "Are you ready to obey?" and his face scowls and he yells "N-O spells NO!"  "Okay then, I'll give you some more time to think about it."  "Nooooooooo!"

Friday:  Today, his mom promised him the iPad in the afternoon if he behaved.  We did have a rough day today with more time outs.  In the car he asked, "Have I been good?"  I said, "What do you think?"  He said, "Um, kind of good?"  I said I agreed with that.  His mom said he didn't get the iPad because she requires excellent behavior. 

Still, I think he made marvelous progress for the week, considering 1. he's not used to obeying anyone but his mom, 2. he is not usually in unfamiliar environments 3. he is not usually around a lot of kids he doesn't know 4. he gets to be with his mom all day, every day (except every other weekend.)

If you read my Facebook, you may gather that Thursday in the car after VBS, he asked from the back seat, "Why do they always sing and talk about Jesus?"  I explained, "Because they love him.  We all do bad things, and the punishment for that is dying without getting to live ever again.  But Jesus died and lived again and went to live with God, and now if we believe he took our punishment, we can live again with God after we die!"

He said, "I want that!" 

So I told him to quietly tell Jesus that he knows he does bad things, and to thank Jesus for dying and then living again, so that C could also live again after he dies.  He said, "I did it."  I said, "Great!  That makes Jesus so happy; now to show Jesus that you are thankful, you read the Bible, which is his message to us.  It tells us how to live."  He said he had a kids' Bible at home.

I told his mom.  She said if he chooses that, that's fine.  She's not a believer, and I really don't want to do anything to jeopardize my relationship with her.  Besides, if she feels like I'm forcing religion on her kid, you think she'll keep letting me hang out with him?  The best way to witness to both of them right now is to respect her boundaries.  I asked if I could read him Bible stories when he comes to my house; she said probably, and she'd think about it.  But the thing I don't want to do is make it a chore:  Like, "Now you're at my house.  Let's read our Bible story and sing our song and memorize a verse."  In fact, the thing he loved most about VBS were the songs, and interestingly enough, his favorites were Christian songs!  He doesn't sing with me, but he'll ask me to sing, and then say "Again, please!"

The funny thing is, C himself is the curious one.  Today he asked me if I pray.  I said yes, and he said, "I pray too, for lots of things."  He wouldn't tell me what, though.  He did say, "My mom does not pray.  She does not want to talk to Jesus."  I said, "Well, some people don't want to."  I have to tread so carefully!  Lord, give me wisdom to speak truth in ways that a little mind can understand, without jeopardizing his relationship with the only stable person in his life right now!

It's so wonderful to hear his matter-of-fact questions about God and Jesus.  I know his grandma (my aunt) has probably exposed him to the gospel too, so he had heard of God before.  I think VBS made him more interested and curious - and he is extremely curious and thoughtful.

I bet he'd like the "G.T. and the Halo Express" CDs I listened to as a kid.  They have word-for-word verses set to song, with a story to go along with it.  Of course I listened to them on cassettes.  They are still available, though on CD.  I can just stick on a CD while he plays with toys.  Besides, I want to hear them again too.  Every one of the VBS memory verses is in song form with G.T.  Sometimes I just wanted to jump up in the middle of a really dry memory verse lesson and say "How about I teach you a song instead?!"

Anyway!

I. Want. To. Be. A.  Mom.

This week was exhausting and tearful, full of smiles and hugs and time-outs and commands of "eat your breakfast.  Walk like a big boy.  Pay attention."  But every evening when I gave him back to his mom, suddenly the house was so quiet.  I finally had time to play my computer games and I just didn't want to.  I missed him, even though I'd spent the last eleven hours with him!  I know that being a mom is much more than this, since you have them at bedtime, and it lasts way longer than a week, but this is the closest I've ever come to having mom duties!  And it was such a blast.  He is a delightful child; he just gets uncomfortable in new situations, which leads him to either act completely crazy, or completely withdraw.  So when we're at my house, he's an angel.

I'm definitely going to be taking him to my house more.  And he loves our house because when Joe's here, he gets to play Minecraft with Joe.  Everything is a question with this kid.  Instead of an observation, he always makes a question.  "We're having fun, right?"  "That's funny, right?"  And "What's that?" when he knows the answer.  Half the time, he asks a question and I respond with, "What do YOU think?"  Seems pretty effective at the moment; he either answers or moves on to another topic.   Joe was pretty patient with him, but also pretty exhausted after answering hundreds of questions.

Oh, kind of funny - he gave me the finger yesterday when he was really mad at me!  Who knows where he learned that, but he clearly knows it's something that is supposed to be very shocking.  So I didn't react at all.  And he decided it was boring.  Phew!

That was a post way longer than I intended.  I can't wait to have a kid and post silly conversations.

this week flew by

Is it friday already?  It has been a quick week, but long days!  The kids have been sick - Shea got two random fevers this week (I still have no idea what caused them, maybe he is just over tired?) and have been getting over colds.  We have had doctor and dentist appointments for both kids.  We had a busy weekend with Hailey's birthday party, fireworks on the beach, and wild waves.  I had my book group this week, we threw a surprise shower for Tawny, which was so fun (she didn't expect it at all).  And Jeremy has been working long hours (for him - which means like 8 - 9 hour work days, but he is gone more like 11 or 12).  But we are thankful for those long hours!  The church isn't paying us right now, because Jeremy wasn't really able to make all his hours up with how much he has been working, and they have a guy who has a TON of community service hours to make up.  Its good, because we are trying to become a little more separated from his parents church and it means we have more time in the evenings not up at the church and also, they don't really have the income to be paying us.  But here God has provided much more work for Jeremy than we are used to, and it is already making up for the loss of income from the church.

I don't know why these pictures are in the order they are, but I do not have time to play around with blogger, so this is it!

Hailey's birthday was fun and simple.  My family came over and we had a joint celebration for Cadence's (my brother's oldest) birthday as well.  The cousins and dogs played and Hailey just clung to me and freaked out most of the time, because she kind of doesn't do great around crowds when the attention is on her.  haha.  But she liked her cake and she did a good job of opening presents!

My brother got her this cute little talking purse with a cell phone/credit card/keys/little mirror.  SHe walks around the house with the bag on her arm and talks on the cellphone. Or she is holding her baby in the other hand - so funny!  I tried to get a picture of her doing it, but she wouldn't hold still.

I can't believe she is already a year!  She is practically running around the house and tried jumping today.  I love this girl.  She is one determined little person!

I won "mom points" this week for allowing my children to plaster my leg with stickers.  Shea was very excited that I kept them on all day and he proudly told Jeremy when he came home that "mommy is STICKER MAN!" haha.  Gotta remember its the simple things!

We have gotten back into our walk routine this week!  I still wish I had a double stroller, but wearing Hailey has still been OK.  We went on a long uphill both ways walk the other day to deliver a care package to a little girl who broke her femur (SO SAD!  She is only 3 and is in a full body cast.  I can't even imagine.)

Speaking of ways that God is providing everything we need - Hailey outgrew her baby car seat and so we were going to have to switch Shea's over.  He is technically big enough for a booster, so we just bought one of those, but I was feeling a little bit unsure about it becasue he just looked so small in it - I really wanted him to stay in the 5 point harness.  Well, one of my mommy friends was over for a playdate last week and randomly asked, "hey I have an extra carseat, do you need one?"  YES!!  It was brown and black and really stained, so I washed it and recovered it with some fabric I had laying around.  Of course, Hailey is grumpy in this picture, but she actually loves sitting facing forward!  And I am glad that Shea is in a safer seat.  Then my brother gave us a much nicer booster than we bought for Shea, so now we are covered until the kids graduate out of carseats.

Shea LOVED the rides at wildwaves.  It was the best part - just watching him BEAM with joy as he sat in one.  It was his first time on rides, really.  So special!  He even went on a fast one with me.

Ok...this was my attempt at making a makeshift double stroller.  I took our two strollers and tied them together. haha.  It did sort of work, but it was a killer workout for me, because you had to hold it a certain way.  People were just laughing at me as I walked down the street.  I looked pretty ridiculous.  Hence why I went back to using the baby carrier - I gotta find me a double stroller!

This picture is from a couple of weeks ago when we stopped by this quaint little town nearby called "Port Gamble".  It is all historic buildings that have been maintained as shops or homes.  This is upstairs in the general store where they have a little marine museum.

my kids like their carbs.  Oh yes.  We stopped at Panera on our way to wildwaves.  

Swinging up at the church!

This was yesterday.  Hailey was holding her babies and just walking circles around the kitchen table, talking nonstop.  I took a video of her too.  I decided I really need to be more on top of documenting this girl - she just doesn't get nearly the pictures taken of her as Shea did!

I guess that is all for now.  We are going to a 10th anniversary party for a local coffee roasting company tonight, which I am looking forward to (I'm just looking forward to getting out of the house without having to go run errands!).  I have a list of things to get done before then too, and Hailey just went down for a nap, so it's my time to power through it all!

Progress?

I don't know if today went better.  I was thrilled when he ran ahead of me into the church.  He was shy at meeting new people, but I think it helped that we were early and the church was nearly empty when we arrived.  He met about five adults and three kids, so I hope we can get him back in the door to see them again.

Today he wasn't scared - he was just plain disobedient.  He answered every adult with "no."  I sat with him in the empty multi-purpose room after breakfast so he could have some unsocial time before class.  He kept hitting me with his stuffed bear so I took it away from him and held it above my head.  I kept saying, "If I give it to you, will you hit me with it?"  He kept saying, "Yes, I will hit you with it."  Then he started screaming, so I said "If you're going to scream, you have to do it outside" and dragged him outside where he punched me in the stomach and rammed me with his head.  I fended him off and balanced the bear on my head, looking like an idiot I'm sure, though a couple people came over and told me I was doing great!

I was looking for his class and another lady was helping me and he would not stand up, so I had the lady carry my purse while I dragged him by his arms and of course he was like "this is so fun!"  He wanted me to carry him - well, I'll carry him if he needs comfort, but not if he's purposely acting two years old to make me mad.  My arms are sore from restraining him yesterday and they got a workout today too!

All the kids were in the sanctuary and he wanted to go in and just stand in the back.  So we did, but then he wanted to leave after a minute.  He didn't want to join his kindergarten class when they came out.  So I left him with one of the workers and just walked away.  He ran after me - "Where are you going?"  "To your kindergarten class."  "Well, wait for me!"

We got him in the classroom, but then he started running around and running out of the room.  So I said maybe we'd try the class again later and we were going to calm down in another part of the church.  He kept running away from me.  The children's director tried to talk to him and he just kept defying her.  She whispered to me that perhaps he's had enough for today and I should take him home.  We got there at 8 am; he made it till 9:30, which is pretty good since yesterday he lasted for half an hour.

Pray that tomorrow he will be neither frightened nor insolent!

Crazy morning

I spent my morning with my cousin's kid, C, restraining him while being pinched, bitten, and spat on.

Let me explain.  His mom said I could take him to VBS today at church, where I'm teaching.  He was fine in the car, but when we got there, he wouldn't get out.  We tried talking about it.  No dice.  But I had to teach.  So I literally dragged him out of the car, prying his fingers from the door handle.  I carried him kicking and sobbing into the church.  The teachers have to come 1/2 early for a prayer time beforehand, but I was told I could stay with him in childcare while he calmed down.  But he didn't.

Finally the teachers came to take the kids to their classes and he was not calming down.  So Debbie told me I could go ahead and take him home and she would find someone to sub for me.  As soon as I said, "C, do you hear that?  Miss Debbie gave me permission to take you home," he stopped crying and said to her tearfully, "Thank you."

Everything was fine after that.  I am going to have a talk with him about using his words, and he needs to apologize for the scratches on my arms, even though I know he only did it because he was scared.  I'm also going to teach him the Bible lesson and tell him exactly what to expect tomorrow, and we can brainstorm some ways of coping when he feels scared.

Two cool opportunities I had with him:

1.  I had told him that after VBS we'd go to McDonald's.  In the car, I said "Even though you did not listen to me, and you hit me, I am still going to take you to McDonald's, because even when you are bad, I still love you."

2.  He asked why my cats ran away from him.  I said, "Just like you are scared of new people, the cats are scared of new people."  Jasmine came down, and he approached her, whispering "I won't hurt you," and was delighted when she let him pet her.  He kept saying, "Look at this, Jazzy loves me!  And I love her!"

PRAY that he will be more willing to come tomorrow.  I already have permission to keep him with me the entire time, even though he's not in the grade I'm teaching.  Pray that he'll make friends with both kids and adults!

We got McDonald's breakfast, watched The Incredibles while wrapped in blankets on the couch, and now he's playing with army men and singing a song he made up:  "You stole my baby, you stole my baby, you stole my baby, all the rest of the day."  He really is a great kid.

Update:

Before he left today, he begged his mom to let him spend the night, which shows he is no longer mad at me for restraining him.

He also told his mom, "Amber is really strong, a lot stronger than you."  That cracks me up because the only reason he knows I'm strong is because I restrained him, dragged him, and carried him for half an hour.  I'm just glad he's a skinny five-year old so I can hold him down!

He said, "When I go to VBS tomorrow, I won't be scared anymore."  The children workers are so amazing, they arranged for a potential sub for me if I have to leave early again.  They said, "Don't worry about inconveniencing us - your primary focus is to take care of C."  They said, "Don't worry if he doesn't make it into class tomorrow - even little baby steps, like him walking into the church by himself, is huge."

I am in tears because of the warm hearts of our childcare workers who are going out of their way to help him have a good experience, and to support me as I support him.  His mom (R) was so kind to him when talking about why he was so scared today.  He's used to spending all day every day with his mom (she works at a preschool/daycare so he has daycare there). 

I have high hopes for tomorrow!

I have missed you ladies!

Hello dear friends.  It is late and I should be going to bed, but after catching up on some old posts and reading Becca's late night honesty post, I realized that I should post while I feel like being honest.

sigh.  where do I begin?  About a month ago I went through a pretty dark time.  I have often struggled with self-worth and not feeling valued by others.  I found that teaching has really brought that out.  Having a group of students forming their opinion of me as a teacher, has been tough.  I know that I do a good job, and I know that students like me as a teacher because they always tell me, but I just couldn't believe it for myself.  Anyways, to cut to the quick, this insecurity along with stress was not a good mix.  I would be pleasant and upbeat for my students, but I would come home and be a complete ass to Justin.  It was not a happy time for a few weeks.  But things started to change, I had a significant conversation with Justin one night.  I was telling him how after everything I still thought I was a bad teacher, and Justin spoke some words that hit me right at my core.  He said; "That is not who you are." It woke me up and immediately I realized that my thoughts were a complete lie and God made me to be way more than that.  I also had a great talk with my mom and she encouraged me by telling me how she always prays for me.  Since then, things really changed in my attitude.  I feel like I'm finally comfortable in class and able to think positively about myself (for the most part, I think it will always be a struggle of mine).

I am still extremely busy.  I commute one hour each way to work, sometimes it takes longer if I miss my train or the subway is delayed.  I've gotten really good at the 'train dash'  I leave work as soon as possible to make it down to the train station.  Today I made the earlier train with 2 minutes to spare.  If i missed it, it would mean getting home at 7 pm vs 6:30 pm.  It really makes a difference at the end of the day!

I still love work.  I really love my students.  I just want to talk to them and hang out with them all the time.  I have students from Brazil, South Korea, Japan, Mexico and Saudi Arabia.  They always make me laugh a lot, some of them are really hilarious.  Sometimes I find that there's all this crazy energy around me because I"m constantly surrounded by people all day and sometimes I feel like I'm attacked by a million questions about the most random things.  This week I've had to explain the difference of the Present Perfect (I have lived in Toronto) and the Present Perfect Continuous (I have been living in Toronto). I think all the questions sometimes make me doubt what I know which can lead to self-doubt.

Anyways, tomorrow is test day and graduation day (This happens every Friday), it's a busy day full of paperwork and good byes and terrible time management.

I'm hoping to be more present in this blog.  I have missed you guys!