a long weekend!

Well, I am definitely feeling a little beat physically today, but totally energized from our weekend!  After a quiet morning of cleaning at home, we headed out to my parent's house to pick up my brother, practice music, and then we also stayed for dinner.  When we got home, kids went right to bed, and then the three of us stayed up eating ice cream (our feast day! soooo good) and the boys played video games, while I worked on...blech...taxes.  Except, I already FINISHED our taxes for last year.  Then after we received our refund, we got a letter in the mail about our taxes from 2011, which apparently were wrong.  I finally finished reviewing every thing today and because of all the weird stuff with being self-employed while working as a pastor, some numbers got added wrong and basically we weren't supposed to get a refund last year, and now I'm paying it back.  Actually, the amount they are asking for is less than what I think we actually owe, so  at least I can just send in a check and be done with it. Thankfully we got a huge refund this year, so its just kind of like that portion of it never existed.  Still kind of a pain.  I also realized I was out of checks when I went to write one, so had to reorder those too.

ANYWAY.

Sunday we got up bright and early at 6 (after going to bed at 11), got the kids ready, had a cup of coffee and a toasted croissant (such a glorious treat after being on our fast all week), packed up the car, and headed out to catch a 7:55 ferry.   Shea always the best time on the ferry.  Here he is hanging out with Uncle Matt (who he thinks is pretty much the coolest person ever).

We got to the church a little after 9 and started setting up.  The sound team was so nice.  Actually, everyone there is so nice.  I met a lot of people and actually had real conversations with them, more than just "nice to meet you, where do you live, etc."  The music itself went really well.  Of course, not perfect, but we had a good time, I felt totally comfortable, and really wasn't worried in the least what any one else thought (which is     a strange thing for me).  I think people were pretty receptive and positive about it, and the guy who was leading worship before is really friendly and seemed very excited about us being there!  So I feel pretty positive about it all and I could definitely see us being a part of that community.

Jeremy just said to me, "You're such a bragger blogger!"  Only because I am typing on here instead of paying attention to him.  Oh well.  So I am, so I am.

Anyway, after church and the potluck, we went to Ikea.  And bought new plates.  Kind of random?  Well.  In our quest to simplify, I have decided to get rid of my china which I NEVER use.  It seems ridiculously excessive to me to have plates that sit in a china cabinet, maybe get used 2 to 3 times a year, and are basically for "show".  So, I am giving the to my sister in law who has the same set, and she is excited to have more place settings, and I know she will actually use them.  Now, we also had all these mugs that matched our regular dishes and we have been wanting to get rid of them for a while since we have never liked them or used them or needed them.  Well, the couple who wanted them was also interested in plates if we had any.  So we decided to give them our regular dishes to complete their set.  And we went and got two packs of plain white dishes from Ikea.  I really like them.  And this way they can be "dressed up" for holiday or special dinners, but also are great for every day.  Oh, and cheap and easy to replace if a child breaks them.  We only have one set out right now, the other is still in the box so if we move we can just take them as if.  We don't really need more than 6 anyway, since I wash our dishes by hand mostly.

I cleared up so much space in my cabinet, I finally have room for my jars of dry food.  Here is my happy cabinet:

Ah.  So simple and happy.  I love seeing space between things.

After that, we went to Coulon park and let Shea run like a crazy child.  It's amazing how much stuff he can do on the playground by himself now - he is getting so big!  Then we went to my sister's fiance's townhouse to hang out and have dinner.  He lives there with two other guys, but they are hoping to be able to move there after the wedding, because the guys are moving out.  They just don't know if the owners will continue the lease or not, because originally they wanted to sell.  Its a super cute little place, so I hope it works out!

We finally got home around 9:30 or so.  Long day, but good!  And I am already looking forward to going next Sunday. I haven't felt that way about church in a long time. :)

We are back on our fast again today, and I found this blog over the weekend called Empowered Sustenance.  She has  TON of grain/dairy free recipes on her blog, so I'm going to try this for dinner tonight. We'll see!  Sounds a little weird, but possibly delicious.

If you didn't think I was bipolar before...

My emotional stuff - depression, bipolar, anxiety - however you want to label it - is better than it ever has been.  My migraines, however, are driving me up and down the wall.  One day I am so pain free and energetic I can't believe all that I can accomplish.

Today, still on the higher steroid dose with three more days before going to the lower dose.  A few hours ago I got the beginning pangs of a migraine and was in total denial, but after a while I knew for sure.  I took Imitrex two hours ago and it didn't abort the migraine (if it doesn't right away, it probably won't) but I'm allowed to take a second one if necessary, so I did, as well as some Aleve.  Pile on the anti-inflammatories! and the anti nausea...and the other stuff I'm taking..

It's almost midnight but I took a four hour nap today so I'm not that tired..plus I just took a ton of pills (with an anti-nausea in the middle of them) so I'm going to sit up and digest everything before I lay back down.

Girls I'm so sad and frustrated.

Steroids are amazing

After I told my doctor the Imitrex didn't help my last migraine at all and it lasted for almost three days, he called in a prescription for a stronger steroid that I'll be on for two weeks instead of five days.  I don't know if that's what finally broke me out of my migraine, but after 72 hours of suffering, I took the pill and my migraine had disappeared within a couple of hours.

So last night I stayed up till 3 am reading on my Nook.  Wasn't tired.  The only reason I stopped reading was because my Nook battery died.  And then, even then, I kept waking up all night.  I guess that's what happens when you sleep all day.  =P

And today!  I went to work and made up two hours of time that otherwise would have come out of my PTO allowance.  I already had to take a floating holiday for Friday to recover from this migraine, and Monday was a paid holiday too, so I only worked 24 hours this week, haha.  I have about 50 hours of PTO and 1 floating holiday left to use; was hoping to save them all up for a vacation but I'm going to bite the bullet and use them for sick time if I have to.

Today!  I:

-Watched one of the discs of Season 1 of Friends (I'm rewatching the whole series, slowly)
-Made yakisoba for dinner, plus chopped and froze enough vegetables to make it again soon
-Tidied the living room and the kitchen.  This is a huge deal, because there has been out-of-place stuff there for months!
-Dishes are almost done (they were done earlier, but then I started cooking)
-Laundry is almost done (in fact all the clothes are done, I just have a sweater to wash on delicate.)
-Cat litter is scooped.

Wow, I haven't had a day like this in a long time.  My legs are actually sore from running around the house the last two hours - does that say anything about my activity levels lately?

Joe will be home any minute and he will come home to hot dinner!  I am so proud to be able to serve him!  And then after dinner he'll play games and I'll read my Nook.

Books

(There, I broke up the monotony of one of my blog posts)

 I'm reading "Unbroken."  It's a WWII story of a guy, Louie Zamperini, who gets an Olympic medal in track, and then gets drafted into the Air Force for the war.  And then he gets stranded at sea for 37 days, I think..and now at this point of the book he's a POW in Japan and I'm only half done with it!!  It has some war pictures too, making it all more real.  It took me about half an hour to get into it, and now I am absolutely riveted and couldn't stop thinking about it all day.  I wasn't sure how many actual pages it was, since I read on my Nook.  Yeah, on Amazon it's 500 pages.  I'm over halfway done, mostly from reading yesterday!

I also read "The Help."  Amazing book that made me tear up more than once.  Just when I think I've read enough about black perspectives in the South in the '50s (I feel like that was all I read in American literature), I get another one that stuns me.  It's about black maids in the '50s, right around the time Martin Luther King Jr. made his speech.  The other thing I like about it is, it talks about cleaning, and these women seriously mopped these huge houses every single day, and would spent hours ironing a complicated piece of clothing, and make the dinner and watch the kids...it was crazy.  It's historical fiction and a really easy read.

And I read a book about Living Well with Migraine Disease.  Somewhat informative but very repetitive toward the end.  I wanted to tell the author, "I read the first half of the book.  Don't think I'm stupid and repeat everything just in case I wasn't paying attention."

I read The Book of Tea by Okakura Kazumo (I think?)  Very philosophical about tea and how it shapes our cultures, and how our cultures shape it.  Some good quotes, but probably wouldn't read again.

And I read Chosen by Ted Dekker.  I think it's meant for teens, but it still had me reading deep into it.  I think it's related to another series he has, the Circle series for adults, but in that one apparently there's a time gap, and he wrote these books for teens to fill in the gap.  I didn't know that when I got it, but I'll still finish the book.  Fiction is supposed to be entertaining and teen books are easy reading!

So I'm still wasting time but I don't feel like I'm wasting it.  I can pull myself away from a book.  I realize when I'm tired and need to sleep, when I'm reading a book.  Overall, my time is much healthier.

Oh and one more brag


Edit: scrolling down I see I left this hanging but I don't know what I was going to type.  Must have gotten distracted!

Finally!

Yesterday I had a really hectic day at work.  The two guys I work with were REALLY not getting along.  We have deadlines for when orders need to go out, and one guy was working on picking his and needed help to finish.  I ask the other guy to help him and he said he couldn't pick because his back was hurt (which was true) but also because he couldn't work with the guy.  So I was like, fine, I'll do it.  Oh man, it was a huge scramble.  The order was over 15,000 lbs of cleaning products...we worked through lunch and I realized at 2:15 that this order wasn't going out.  So I talked to our customer service lady and we moved the ship date to Monday.  Then I had two hours left to eat my lunch and get the rest of my work done that I hadn't got a chance to get to.  I never really understood why people were so excited about Fridays until I got this job.  At the end of the day I just want to drop to my knees and say TGIF!!

After that full crazy day, Justin picked me up, we got home.  I checked my email and there it was, an email from the school I'd been interviewing with:

Hi Candice,

I'm more than happy to offer you a position at Connect starting March 11th.

Praise the Lord!  I needed that so much!  I finally feel like I got the job, and the end is in sight!!  I am going to be a teacher!  I have wanted to get to this point every since I started tutoring in 2006.  Finally!

To celebrate we went to a thrift store (Justin knows me so well) and I got some really cute boots and some tops for teaching.  Then we went to all you can eat sushi, overly stuffed ourselves, came home and watched a new episode of Project Runway.  It was so wonderful to have a weight lifted off and know that I'll be teaching very soon!  Justin and I realized this morning that yesterday was also 8 years since we started dating.  haha we had no idea back then how significant our relationship was going to be!

Happy Saturday everyone, I just had to share my good news!!

I can't think of a title

Why not start this post with a picture of my child in an adult raccoon costume?  This is actually from right before Christmas, but I only JUST took all my pictures off of my camera.  Why?  because I literally had no space on my hard drive.  So we finally went to Costco and bought their 4TB external hard drive.  No more picture storage problems for a long time, I think.

Anyway.  HELLO!  I have loved reading all the posts, even though I haven't gotten any time to do much posting.  Between school, children being sick, baby showers, mom's group and preparing for leading worship the next week, I have felt like a mad woman.  In a good way, I suppose.  I think mostly I feel crazy because Hailey has NOT been sleeping well lately and I have not had much chances of getting naps during the day, so that has really been wearing me down.

I can hardly remember anything going on.  SO I'll just post the pictures I have and see if that jogs my memory, ha.

I'll start with TODAY!  Because after Jeremy came home early from work, we went out to run some errands and get out of the house, and when I returned there was a box on my doorstep!  From who?  ANGELA!  So unexpected and totally made my day!  Look at all the fun goodies she sent me :)  And she had the sweetest little notes attached to everything.  Loved it!!  And how in the world did you know I've been wanting one of those scraper/paddle attachments for my KitchenAid?  I totally forgot about wanting one until today!  Can't wait to try it out!

Last week, we had pajama day at school.  It is amazing how exciting this is to a three year old.  Here is Shea, all ready to go!  He was running around like a crazy person, he was so excited.

It was a super easy school day.  We made pancakes, built a blanket fort, read books, and played in costumes.  This week, since my mother in law was out of town and couldn't watch Hailey, Tawny just dropped John off at our house and we did school at home.  The kids sat on the couch with Shea's cars as we sang praise songs and read some books.

Later, we built a race track (it was R week), had a nice long recess outside (so nice out that day!), had a snack, and did some workpages.  It was actually really nice doing it at home.  Baby got to take a nap in her own bed and was able to stay close to me.  Shea loved having "home school" too!

And some pictures of my girl from this month.  Poor thing has been really sick lately!  She had a cold...then got better...then caught another cold, but this time has a really bad cough with it.  She hasn't been able to breathe at night and just seems miserable.  The only thing I can do to help is try to hold her upright, but she isn't able to get comfortable sleeping with me in bed, so this means me being up a lot at night bouncing her back to sleep and trying to clear out her nose.  I hope she gets better soon, because I need sleep!

A couple of weeks ago I finally started cloth diapering for real.  I got a little discouraged at first, because all the diapers I made for her didn't fit and they seemed to take so much effort to make.  Well, in my quest to reduce waste this year, diapers is a biggie.  I grabbed a disposable, traced a pattern, and after one adjustment they work PERFECT!  I got the diaper fever and whipped up 10 of them in 2 days, using just flannel and old receiving blankets I had.  I also made flannel reusable wipes with all the scraps.  I still need to make at least 10 more diapers, which I have cut out and ready to make.  I went and bought a flannel sheet at goodwill to make them with, so this is staying pretty inexpensive and has been working great.

For lent, Jeremy and I decided that we were going to go on a veggie/fruit ONLY fast.  Yeah.  Crazy, right?  Especially since we had just gone grocery shopping and realized lent was like...the next day practically.  But, we are allowing ourselves "feast days" from Saturday dinner to Sunday dinner so we can participate with family and church things without being total weirdos and stay humble (no, "I am so amazing I haven't eaten bread for 50 days!" stuff, ha).  Let me tell you, I have never fasted from anything for this long before.  I thought it was going to be a lot harder too, but ends up I love vegetables and have gotten to figure out a lot of fun recipes to make with them.  I do miss milk and cheese and black tea and coffee and all those wonderful things though, and I was basically drooling while I read Angela's post and saw her cupcakes and cookies and coffee.  Especially since I made a huge batch of iced coffee which is just sitting in the fridge right before this.  But its not bad, and both of us have already lost a little bit of weight, so thats a nice by-product.  Can't lie though, I am looking forward to Saturday night, and having a coffee!  Although for this time period we are being really strict about it, we are hoping it will translate into a bit of  a lifestyle change for us.  We both feel a lot better eating these foods and not all the processed junk.  I basically just go buy fresh produce and that is what we eat for the week.

I finally made tomato soup from scratch too!  Easiest and tastiest thing ever.  I will do this from now on forever.  I stopped buying canned tomato soup because it has msg and high fructose corn syrup, and the natural stuff is too expensive, but it used to be a regular lunch for Shea, so I was at a loss about what to do some days for him to keep up a variety.  The picture below is the "before" then I pureed all the veggies up in my blender and it is heavenly.  Plus, Shea doesn't know there are "green" things in it, haha.

1.) I also got a new flannel shirt. 2.) and eight mason jars for $1.60 (which I now use instead of tupperware),  and 3.) Shea has been rocking his new hat and scarf from old navy, which we scored for under $3!  He is so funny in it.

Oh, almost forgot this one.  I made this little top for Hailey last week while I was sewing.  I love it on her and must start making more clothes for her.

In other news...the no shampoo thing is still working out OK, but I've decided I want to make a homemade coconut milk shampoo to try out.  I just miss the lathering of my hair, but this one is pretty cheap to make and also no crazy chemicals in it.  Today I made homemade body wash which I am super excited to try out! It smells heeeaaavenly and I spent like 2 bucks and it made over half a gallons worth!

This Sunday is the first week I go lead worship at the church in Renton.  I am getting pretty excited about it.  This week I won't be playing with their team - just my brother is coming to play bass and Jeremy will play his djembe.  Then the following week I'll be playing with the band, so I've been trying to get all the chord sheets and stuff ready for them so I don't have to scramble next week.

Anyway, 9PM...I should go to bed since the kids are asleep, so I better go quickly clean the kitchen and get things ready for school tomorrow.

Life lately.

Since we have been back from Hawaii time has been flying by.  I feel like I work, have a few days off and all the sudden two weeks has gone by!  It has been good to get back into the swing of life, picking up a few work shifts, doing regular household chores, and cuddling with my kitties. There is nothing like vacation that rests you up so good that you can enjoy your day to day life that much more.  

I LOVED vacation but I missed crafting.  When we got home I started using my silhouette more.  I made this little mobile for the wall by having the machine cut out the hearts, then I sewed them together, then attached them to a (wet) stick I found in the backyard.  So far the kittens have left it alone for the most part, and it is still intact and on the wall. 

We have had a few sunshiney days and I try to enjoy every minute of them when I am off of work. This particular day I had a ton of paperwork to do, so I was in my craft room all day long, and the cats loved it.  The craft room gets the warmest when it is sunny out because there are two windows and sun streams in both, I love it! 

Since I have moved to days Paul and I have a new little ritual.  If I work and he doesn't he (usually) cooks dinner.  I LOVE this.  This particular night he made sauteed pork and rice, it was so yummy and we had quite a few left overs.  He texted me the next day at work to say the leftovers had spilled all over the carpet. So sad :(  At least he knows how to resolve the carpet and it was perfectly clean with no stains.  

Crazy story about my friends engagement ring.  She took it in to have resized and they returned the wrong ring to her a month later and didn't tell her they had switched it.  The new ring (on the right in both pictures) was a whole half a karat bigger but the quality of the diamond was much worse and it wasn't set right.  It was probably worth less money than the previous ring.  Sara was upset they had done this and her and her fiance went back to Kay's jewelers and kindly asked (demanded) to have their money back.  Sara now has an amazing new engagement ring that she loves even more than the first.  Kay's lost her business forever. 

Paul and I decided to go out on a Valentines day date a day early, so we wouldn't be eating out with everyone else.  We were super classy and went in sweats to our favorite cheap mexican restaurant where you can get two amazing and huge burritos and a drink for $15.  This whole eating out a day early thing didn't work so well though because I had a particularly tiring shift on valentines day (and Paul was off) so we ended up going to a Thai restaurant when I got home because he didn't want to cook and I didn't want to clean.  

Eric is in love with this shoe string.  He drags it everywhere in his mouth and goes crazy if you try and take it from him! 

My parents came this weekend and my mom and I went and got our hair cuts together!   I hadn't had a hair cut in soooo long.  I had been wearing it in a pony tail for the last few months, and it feels so good to have it down and cute again.  I had a new hair stylist (my last one left to be with her baby, second time this has happened to me!) and she was amazing.  She has only worked there since December and said she wasn't having babies any time soon, so I hope to keep going to her.  She spent and hour and 15 minutes cutting my hair! 

Friday after work I decided I deserved a little shopping spree.  I went to Gap and Banana Republic at the Supermall and spent the $25 gift card Paul had given me as a little treat.  This cardigan and shirt cost $15 total, I love super sales, and using a gift card to get them! 

Yesterday at work I had to take care of an extremely rude and racist patient.  She didn't mind white females, well you may get called a bitch a few times but that is NOTHING compared to the other crap that came out of her mouth.  She told me her mother was going to get me and that Dr. Oz was against me.  Anyway, I had to sit in there for 15 minutes to relieve the 1:1 sitter and wear this beautiful isolation gown.  I sat there thinking about how awful she had treated some of the CNA's and how no one, no one at all should ever have to hear those things said about them.  I hope they refuse to take care of her in the future. And then I ate a cupcake and tried to forget about her.  It didn't work. 

I started watercoloring and made this little picture for my friend Ciara who just became a Nurse Nonpracticing at age 25.  I am so so proud of her and put this little ditty together as a congrats present.  It arrived at her place today and I can't wait for her to come home from work to it.  I need to start sending out little gifts more often because it is so fun! 

Ps, sunshine on an unmade bed makes me smile.  My bed used to NEVER be unmade, but now that Paul gets out of bed after me it seems like it is never made, oh well, who sees it that cares besides me? No one.  So now my bed is made on my days off.  It sometimes bothers me, but not when there is sunshine streaming into my room, I just want to jump in bed and snuggle under the sheets! 

AARP keeps sending Paul letters and invitations, how old do they think he is??  I have been cleaning up little areas around the house and found Paul has about a million name tags (he has a ton more that don't say assistant manager on them as well).  Before he was married (or dating me) he was always losing them.  Now I put them away on a regular basis and when he brings them home I make sure they go to their home.  I bet he has 5 more at work too! 

Another picture of the food Paul made, and a picture of me at costco,  I went for some fruit and spent over $100, I hate it when that happens.  At least everything was healthy besides the pizza and I finally bought a blender (I have been waiting for Costco to have a good semi cheap one so if it breaks I can return it even two years later).  Oh and I got two boxes of plastic bins to organize in.  They are the best. 

I have started making greeting cards from the scraps of the silhouette.  This is the quote I used for Ciara and when I was pealing the outer layer off I thought to myself, this would make an awesome card.  I did this with hearts earlier as well.  I love how they turned out!  

I had coffee and a cookie for breakfast one day and it was amazing.  I wish I could do that every day and for one stay full and two not get fat!  

I had to call into a conference for my grandpa who is in a rehab facility right now after losing some strength after a hospital visit and I colored throughout the phone call when I wasn't taking notes.  I forgot how much I love coloring.  I hope when I have kids they love to color because it is oh so therapeutic for me!  Oh and I dressed up for the first time in ages to go to church and it was oh so fun to wear cute clothes instead of yoga pants or scrubs.  Cute clothes aren't as comfy though so I think I will stick with the yoga pants 98% of the time. 

More watercoloring.  My m om got me into it, and I just ordered my very own set of watercolors from amazon that should be here any day now.  

On Saturday we all went to Seattle to have dinner with my brother for his birthday.  We went to this awesome little Italian restaurant at like 7:30 pm (we had to wait for Paul to get off work and parking in Seattle was a doozy).  It was so fun to all be together and just hang out while enjoying absolutely amazing food!   My brother grew his hair out on accident.  He said when he does get it cut it will be short.  It is not long (and curly!!- we never knew!) because he wanted it long, it was because he was too lazy for a hair cut. Now he is going to look crazy to everyone once he gets short hair again!  

And that my friends has been my last two weeks.  I work Friday- Monday now and am prepping myself to be very tired.  I have to psych myself up for my "long" stretch of work.  I know normal people work 5 days in a row, but wow, I just can't imagine! 

I have loved reading all your guy's posts as of late! :)

Winter Can Be Beautiful

Hello again,

We just had a long weekend since Monday is a holiday in Ontario (Family Day).  We rented a cottage with Justin's family for the weekend two hours north of us.  It. was. heavenly.  I hadn't realized how much of a break I needed.  I needed a longer break from work and from house responsibilities.  I had a discouraging week last week, so it came just in time.  I found out I did get the teaching job (hooray) but they never gave me a start date.  So I asked them for a date so I could put in my notice at work.  They emailed back and said they would let me know as soon as a class was available for me to teach.  So I found this out on Feb. 11, and I'm like:  what the heck?! I've been in the interview process with them since Jan. 15!!  (I'm still ticked off).  I think it wouldn't be so bad if I had known it would be awhile, but they made it sound like they needed someone right away (their ad said end of Jan/beginning of Feb).  I feel like I can't wait around forever, so I'm going to keep on applying to teaching jobs.  Work was especially tough last week and I just want out of there so bad.  I know at this point that things will be ok, but I'm feeling discouraged right now and I just have to remember that God has me right where he wants me.  This Christmas I had my eyes opened about what it's like to trust God like a kid trusts their parents.  As children we completely trust that our parents will take care of everything.  I feel like I'm being put to the test in this, so I am working at and praying daily for this childlike trust.

Even in the midst of this struggle I can so see God working around me.  In this last week I have had significant conversations with two individuals; one from church and one from work who are going through tough times where they feel they've called out to God and he is not answering. I feel like I've been able to say encouraging things and at the very least pray for them.

Just writing about all this is putting me in a better mood and giving me perspective!

The winter cold was getting me down too, but this weekend up north was just beautiful.  We don't get as much snow down here and the city makes it all dirty.  Here are a few pictures:

Standing on frozen lake, our cottage looked out onto this view. 

I forget how fun it is to go sledding!  I went down several times, but didn't get a picture of it, Justin enjoyed it too.

Even though it was gorgeous, I couldn't help thinking about what everything would look like in the spring.  Can't wait for those first few crocuses to pop up!

It's me again

Time to brag.

I still haven't been playing my games, BUT I decided it's okay to play a game that has a definite ending.  There are some online games that take an hour or two to accomplish the objective, and then you're done!  So I did one of those games today and don't feel guilty about it because I have the whole day off and Joe is working 12 hours in Port Orchard.

Besides, I got a lot done.  Dishes and laundry were the main house things and I'm kind of disappointed that the house doesn't look better; I might work on it a little later.  But mostly today was a lot of phone calls and errands and returning stuff.  It didn't make a big impact on the way the house looks, but every time I saw something out of place I'd think "Hey, I know where I can put that."  With that kind of attitude the house will be clean in no time!

What I should at least do is run the vacuum downstairs so when Joe comes home to play his video games, it can be running upstairs.  If I'm feeling that adventurous..I know, a robotic vacuum cleaner seems so easy but I do have to babysit it.  It likes to get stuck on things sometimes, or forget its way back to its base.

I did my Sunday school lesson today, changed the Brita filter, paid some bills, stuff like that.  Nothing big, just a bunch of little things.  Cleaned out my purse.  Took some crap out of my car.

Anyway, I'm still migraine free, and my face is very flushed all the time from the steroids =)  Glad I'm not on anything stronger!  I think sugar may be a trigger - if not for a migraine than at least for a headache.  But I'm learning now that all my headache symptoms were probably migraine related, even the one I thought was "sinus."  I am reading a book about migraine disease and it says that 90% of what people think are sinus headaches, are really migraines!  I also learned why I have trouble walking and talking when I have a migraine.  Apparently it's common.  Some people even have to wear medical bracelets because they can't speak at all when they get migraines! 

Also, depression is closely related to migraines...or migraines are related to depression, but there's supposed to be a connection in there somewhere.  Kind of hoping everything will go away with anti-inflammatories =)

Better

Just an update so you don't continue to feel sorry for me.  I went to the new neurologist.  He said basically I'm stuck in a constant migraine, so trying to find out my triggers while I'm in a migraine is pointless.  Like once a gun has shot you, you don't stop being wounded just by looking for and smashing the gun that shot you...you're already shot so you have to get medical attention before you start looking for the gun.  Probably a bad analogy, but "trigger," you know.

So they gave me a shot of some strong anti-inflammatory, the same dose as if you go into the ER (Teradol?).  Afterward I fainted.  I was able to get an MRI appointment right afterward so they had to wheel me down!

Then I drove back to work and felt so much better from the shot.  I was actually enjoying the sun instead of cursing it.  I came back to work and my coworkers were like, "Whoa, you look like a different person...what did they GIVE you?!"

I'm also on five days of steroids, and I have a script for Imitrex and one for anti nausea.  The doctor will call me next week to go over the results of my MRI and check up on my pain levels.  Every once in a while I get a little hint that a migraine is starting, but then it just goes away.  I've been off all milk and caffeine for several weeks and now that I've been broken out of my migraine cycle, I'll continue to avoid them to see if it makes a difference.  I'm almost hoping I get another migraine so I'll know that's not the problem, because I really miss cheese and butter.  And chocolate, and most baked goods (even most breads have milk in them!), and sour cream and cream cheese and cereal.  But I'm proud of myself for making it this far; I only forgot once and had some cheese.

I bought a Groupon for Joe and I to go to the LeMay car collection.  We went to the car museum in Tacoma first but it was actually a different location, in Puyallup.  So we went to the other location, which is mostly in large unheated warehouses.  Not as comfortable, but I enjoyed the tour more than I thought I would, and for $15 for both of us together, I'm not complaining!

Came home and took a nap.  Took care of some Costco ground beef that's been sitting in the fridge for a week and is now brown.  Did the cat litter.  To do:  Make dinner.  Go to work to get some stuff I forgot.  Clean the bathrooms!  Read my Sunday school lesson when I get the book from work. 

I'm doing childcare tomorrow and I'm excited to do it without pain.  I realize now that I've been dreading it the last few times!

Screw the whole good attitude thing

Can I go ahead and complain about my migraines?  Because I am miserable.  I'm getting them so often and missing so much work.  Let me tell you.

Monday:  Worked two hours before migraine symptoms hit.  Shaky, weathink, hot/cold sweats, can't walk in a straight line, confusion, can't talk right, can't concentrate.  Plus the weird headache and nausea.  And being in a fog and feeling like I'm dreaming, like nothing is really happening.  Went home.

Tuesday:  Migraine replaced by a regular severe headache!  I'm happy, because I can work through a regular headache.  If it's just pain I can handle it.  Plus, ibuprofen actually helps.

Wednesday:  General malaise, but no big complaints.  Took more breaks than I should have, and watched the clock until I had worked 8 hours precisely.

Thursday:  Worked four hours completely pain free for the first time in weeks!  Felt like a new person, or like my old person.  I had energy, I loved people, it was easy.  Then the migraine hit.  I could feel it coming and I almost had myself convinced it was all in my head, before I stood up and had to hold onto my desk for support.  I was so dizzy and couldn't focus on anything I had to call Joe to pick me up, I was afraid to drive.

Friday: Who knows?  I have a chiropractic appointment in the morning (my third one - my neurologist thought it might help; the chiro said that we'll know after a couple weeks whether my migraines can be improved with chiropractic care.)  Also, one of the executives I work for, the Chief Medical Officer - I was supposed to have a meeting with him today but he took one look at me and said "No, we'll do it later."  Then he asked me if the neurologist; had given me any meds for it - I said no, he had wanted to find out what was the problem, then treat the cause, not the symptoms.  The CMO was like "Come into my office...I need to talk to you."  He's a practicing MD.  He said he was really concerned that I was having to suffer like this, that I am so incapacitated I can't work or occasionally drive, that I'm in some kind of pain 95% of the time.  He's also concerned because the neurologist threw so much at me - he thinks I'm narcoleptic because he thinks I enter REM right upon falling asleep and wants me to have a sleep study; he wants me to get another MRI; he wants me to see an osteopath, plus the chiropractic and massage (don't mind if I do). 

Anyway, the CMO was amazing.  He was like "I want you to see a different neurologist right now, today if possible - I'm really concerned."  He called the office of a neurologist that he refers his patients to, and left a message for the doctor to call him back.  Then when I got home, while I was napping, I got a call from that doctor's office for a 1 PM appointment tomorrow!  And later the CMO called to make sure I had gotten the appointment.  He wasn't even on duty; not being paid to do this; and he used his MD prowess for his assistant so that I could get an appointment right away and get some meds.

I thought I was getting sinus headaches since they were only on the right side of my face but a sinus CT showed that it was fine.  So maybe that's migraine related, I don't know.

So many appointments, so many referrals, so many phone calls I have to make at work on my lunch break.  Deductible bills are starting to come in.  I made a new year's resolution to tackle my health but I didn't expect to open this can of worms.  When I saw the new neurologist he spent TWO HOURS asking me questions.  I said "My gosh, you spent two hours with me!"  He said "Well, you have a lot of issues."  Well, I thought I did, before he started adding diagnoses.

Everyone at work says "oh you're not feeling well, hope you don't get what's going around."  I am so tired of explaining.  If I say migraine, they say "it's stress."  Thanks for the diagnosis.  Now i don't have to listen to my neurologist and get a bunch of tests done!  You've cured me!  Or they say "just stop eating this/drinking that," or they say "could it be hormonal?"  One of my favorite coworkers asked if I was getting enough sex!   I finally told one woman, "I promise you, I just talked to an MD for two hours about this.  We went over everything you're talking about.  He specializes in migraines so I think he knows what questions to ask."  And what if it is hormonal, or something like that?  What are my coworkers going to do, refer me for labs??  People are just trying to be helpful I know, but after everything my DOCTOR told me to do, I can't follow the advice of my 80 coworkers plus friends plus family members telling me what I should do.  I'm the one with the headaches and migraines, so I think I have more reason than they do to pursue relief and find out my options.

And "stress?"  I don't feel stressed out.  I love my job.  And I feel like for the most part I handle stress better than most people at my workplace, and I step back when I need to.  But they say, "You're stressed and you don't even know it."  Fine then, what am I supposed to do?  What was the point of telling me that except to make me feel guilty about something I clearly can't change?

I've been dealing with this for several months of increasing frequency, but today was the most difficult day because I actually experienced a clear, pain free mind.  I got spoiled - I think I've gotten used to working through pain that I thought that was normal - and now I'm just so sorry for myself like a spoiled baby.

I have such an understanding boss though.  She's amazing.  She knows that I will work hard whenever I am absolutely able to; that if I say I have to go home it's not for laziness.  I came home today, slept four hours, came down for a scrumptious Valentines dinner that Joe made, then went back to bed for two more hours laying in the dark with a blanket over my face, shivering because I couldn't get warm.  The migraine has finally started to lift, which is why I'm even writing this, and then finally I was able to get warm.  There is some crazy schitt going on with my nervous system.  The migraines are always slightly different with different weird symptoms.

I just downloaded some books onto my Nook and I'm going to read some before I go back to bed.  Joe has to drop me off at work tomorrow because my car is at work.  I'm holding fast to my "no TV, no games" and not regretting it at all, though I did dream I was playing Bloons and in my dream I suddenly remembered I wasn't supposed to and I jumped up and felt so guilty!

Speaking of dreams:  I dreamed that one of the cats threw up a spider that had purple feathered boas attached to its legs.  Wiggle ran under it, then went around with purple boas all around her.  Probably one of the weirdest dreams that I've been able to share coherently.

I'm baaaack

Hahaa did you know we just reached 15,000 pageviews on this blog?

I am back.  No, for good.  I had Joe disconnect Netflix from the Xbox, and change the password to Netflix on the computer.  And I deleted all my games and savefiles.  I am DONE.

I'm a little scared, since I've been feeling really crappy lately (if it's not a headache, it's a migraine) and I saw a neurologist and I have to get a bunch of tests done and blah blah blah, and when I'm feeling crappy and I'm not sleepy, I don't want to do anything but watch TV.

Anyway, now I will be more social.

I don't think you want to hear about all the dumb headaches/migraines.  It's a pain, and it's getting really difficult to work 40 hours a week because I'm always in pain or nauseous or shaky.  I'm starting to dig into my PTO which I never wanted to do.

Joe downloaded Windows 8 on my computer.  I'm not a fan so far.  It's really designed for people with smartphones. 

I'm enjoying work even though it's hard to work feeling yucky.  I have confirmation daily that I am right where God wants me.  I get to reach out to my coworkers daily - with kindness, with tokens of love, with the word "Jesus" and my Christian perspectives and even the gospel.  And sometimes I get confirmation back from them, that they are receiving it and seeing something in me.  Today someone I barely interact with, except to smile and say "hi Mark" when I see him, told me I was the nicest person in the office.  He's not even on my side of the building - I seriously see him once a day, if at all - and God through me made an impression on him!

I'll try to be better about posting and commenting!

Back into the swing of life.

Well girls, I am back, and boy oh boy was vacation amazing.  I finally got a chance to download all the pictures off my phone (over 400!) and make them into little collages so I don't totally overwhelm this blog with photos...though I believe there are 83 pictures in all the collages, kinda crazy.  I relived the vacation as I was making these collages, and the moments that seemed like normal life in our 12 day vacation seem more special now as I look back.  I was able to eat every meal with my husband, we went out to dessert nearly every night.  We sat together and watched the sunset.  We watched whales nearly every morning. It was amazing, but yet when every moment is amazing you forget the small things.  I am so glad I have these pictures to look back on and remember just how great those 12 days really were. 

We had a koi pond right outside our condo and I got to test out my waterproof iphone case for the first time in Hawaii.  I am pretty sure the old people watching me from their lanai's thought I was crazy dipping my phone in the pond. 

I am still reading that book in the picture below, it is really good, but aparently I like watching youtube videos, tv, and sleeping more on vacation.

We tried to go to a beach everyday, but ended up taking a few days off because we did other activities where we were outside for too many hours and didn't want to end up burnt.  I only got slightly burnt by my hairline a few days in, but then made sure to put sunscreen on every time and it went away and never peeled, thank goodness.  That yellow dress you see below is from Aeropostale, it is probably popular for girls in junior high and I can't even tell you how many years I have had it, but man is it so fun to wear in Hawaii, flowy and free in the humid warm temps. 

The little elderly gentleman was our friend.  He was out by the ocean every morning watching whales with us and let us borrow his amazing binoculars.  He told us awesome places to go on the island and told us all about the whales. :)  Pretty much everyone on our side of the condos was 70 and older, we loved it.  So quiet.  The other side of the condos had 2 bedrooms so there were a lot more families over there and little children running around and giving me heart attacks as their parents were too far behind them to catch them if they fell over the sea wall! 

Hawaii has the biggest avacados!  They were all this size, it was kinda crazy.  Little birdie kept us company while we ate our filipino lunch.  The right picture is the shaved ice we ate almost every night and the reason I gained 7 pounds in Hawaii. (Granted some of that weight was because I had lost a ton while sick the week before, I kinda looked anorexic for a few days). Anyway that shaved ice has ice cream on the bottom, ice, a ton of sugar syrup, and cream on top. Heaven in a cup. 

I barely have any pictures of Paul smiling from this trip.  I swear he absolutely loved this vacation, but every time he saw me taking pictures he either put his phone in front of his face, frowned, or made a goofy face at me.  The roosters were just chilling where we snorkeled, they are so awesome.  We saw a momma hen and a ton of baby chicks too that were so stinking adorable!  When I was taking the picture of the chickens and roosters someone asked me if I posed them there.  Um yeah, just like I pose my cats sleeping and cuddling together.  I am the animal whisperer. Haha.

This is Big Beach, Paul's absolute favorite beach.  The waves are killer and pull you under.  When I went to Maui with my family my brother and I were boogie boarding here and we got towed under a wave 3 times before we could get out because our boogie boards were tangled together and they are attached to your wrist.  I will not go in the water at this beach again.  That swim suit still has sand stuck in it.  Paul on the other hand went in the water a million times (ok like 6 but still) and he loved it.  Then he decided to lay in the sand.  Look how beautiful his back looked after that fine endeavor.  He washed off in the ocean before we got back in the rental car and you could see the salt dried all over his skin! 

Snorkeling!  I loved having a underwater camera.  We went to another awesome snorkel spot that we had to  walk a bit to so I didn't take my camera.  I wish I would have because I got to swim with a turtle for a few minutes straight! 

No normal faces from my husband, but I still love all these pictures!  I love this man a lot, and this vacation was an amazing escape from work for us! 

It may have been a little harder to love him the morning he decided we should wake up at 3:30 am to go watch the sunrise on the top of a mountain where it was freeeeeezing cold.  I was so tired and I spent the whole time wrapped in the only blanket from the condo which was polar fleece and the wind went straight too.  I don't remember ever being that cold (because when it is cold in washington I have warmer clothes to wear than yoga pants and a sweatshirt).  I couldn't feel my toes by the end (I had flip flops on because I didn't take shoes) and my feet were asleep. Walking back to the car was incredibly difficult! 

The sunset was absolutely gorgeous, I have better pictures on my DSLR (all that Paul took because I was too cold to take my hands out of my blanket), but I haven't gotten those on my computer yet.  Paul had the time of his life up there though so that made it worth it (I think ;) ). 

We went to the Gazebo for lunch one day.  This restraunt is super popular for their breakfast and we went last time we were in Maui.  We went for lunch at 11 and I asked Paul if it would still be busy from breakfast, he said no, um, he was wrong.  We had to wait like 45 minutes for a table.  At least my awesome husband let me go sit in some chairs while he waited in line behind these super gossipy girls that didn't stop talking ever.  The food did not dissapoint though!  The fried rice has peppers, sausage, mushrooms and other stuff I can't remember but it was so so good.  Oh and this was a half order! The picture on the bottom left is the view from the restaurant. 

Big beach again.  Paul had just gotten out of the water and pulled me in close for a hug.  Ok, the ocean's in Maui are warm compared to ones in Washington, and you can actually get used to the water temperature but if you have been laying in the sun and are super warm your husband will feel freeeeeeezing cold when he hugs you.  I love that I caught a picture of it all though!  I didn't even know I was clicking the button the whole time. :)  I had to keep putting Paul's hat over my head to keep my face from burning.  That hat definitely needs to be washed now after how much Paul and I wore it in Maui! 

There were probably 5 people out in that crazy white water surfing.  We were at a place called Jaws where the "small" waves are 35 feet tall!  It was so awesome. 

I fell down at breakfast and got these great scabs on my legs.  Lets just say scabs hurt in salty water when you get in and out, wet and dry.  I was a little bit of a baby about them.  Oops. Oh and I caught up on Downtown Abbey on the ipad in Hawaii, I wish it aired more than once a week!!

Paul liked to swim a lot when we were at the beach, I thought the water was too cold so I would sit on my towel and draw pictures in the sand.  Sand art by the ocean is relaxing and fun!

We stayed at the most wonderful bed and breakfast.  It probably even seemed more wonderful because the night before we had stayed in a hotel where we didn't get much sleep.  It was our most expensive night of the stay and the beach front rooms were right by the main road and we heard cars and street sweepers all night long.  Awful.  I shouldn't be able to say that about Maui, but that night was not a good one.  Needless to say that hotel did not get a good yelp review and this bed and breakfast got a raving good one.  Our host Eva made an amazing breakfast of fresh fruit, bagels, yogurt, cereal, and coffee and her doggies are amazing and Paul and I decided we wanted a Cavalier King Charles because of her dogs.  We did a little research and found out they cost $2000 to $2500 and promptly decided we did not need this kind of dog.  They are so sweet, low energy dogs and love to cuddle. Bummer. 

We had to check out of our Bed and Breakfast by 11am and we didn't have to turn in our rental car til 2pm. We went on a mini hike about half hour from the airport and it was so beautiful! 

There were kitties and roosters on the hike and we tried to be their friends. The kitty actually let both of us pet her and Paul loves this picture of her yawning.  The rooster on the other hand kept running away!

Flight back to the States, Maui, we didn't want to leave you.  At least Hawaiian Airlines provides hot free in flight meals.  Oh and lots of soda, perfect to have before facing reality and trying to lose all the weight I had gained! 

I worked 40 hours the first 4 days we were back.  I was so tired after it was over.  Then I had two days off.  I don't even really remember what I did those days, I was so burnt out from the last two shifts I had worked (and frustrated with the unit I had worked in and their lack of organization) so I was laying on the couch and taking care of myself. Paul and I went to PF changs on Wednesday because we had a $50 gift card.  So fun to eat out without paying for it!  We watched the Lorax and shoe shopped (for Paul).  I made crafts.  I chilled, it was wonderful. 

We lived for three days off of an empty fridge.  Hot pockets, frozen soup I had from the freezer, and pancakes.  On Sunday after work and growth group, we were both really tired, we spent half an hour shopping at Safeway.  We bought a TON of food (more than is in the cart).  

I made sure to relax after work, drink tea, playing on the ipad, playing with my kitties, and trying to forget about my awful days at work.  I had two of my most busy days at work Thursday and Friday where I didn't get any 15 minute breaks or lunch breaks, but they were still great days.  I love working with supporting coworkers and helping each other out. 

Today I hung out with my friend Sara all morning, we went out to Thai for lunch then I came home and cleaned and rearranged my house.  I made the living room more cozy by adding a rocking chair and a basket of blankets, it makes me happy.  I did 4 loads of laundry, vacuumed, mopped, and picked up. I sure do love a clean house!  

Now my husband just got home and I should go hang out with him.  Have an awesome weekend ladies!