it's been a while

hello, hello!

I don't know why I thought of posting on here.  I was going to write on my other blog, and then I decided I'd rather just write a more informal post on here to say HELLO to all you ladies and tell you about life.  I am so curious what you are all up to!

I found out in January that I am PREGNANT.  yes, gasp.  Especially after I was so adamantly "done".  Surprise!  Anyway, we have told family and some friends randomly (Shea and Hailey tell pretty much everyone we meet), but we haven't done a larger social media broadcast yet, we'll see when that happens. I am 12 weeks right now and due Oct. 5!  So life feels like it is changing quite a bit.  Many of my business plans for my photography have gone out the window and I have been sick and dealing with weight gain (normally I lose a lot of weight the first trimester) and feeling really gross lately.  I am trying to get over that, but it is kind of making me feel depressed when I've gained 10 lbs and it is definitely NOT mostly baby.  I was running 7 - 13 miles 4 times a week and then boom, I got morning sickness and when I run it's like maybe 3 miles if I can make it and I feel like the only thing that takes away my nausea is eating but then I am not moving enough and eating crap that makes me feel awful, and no energy to even make very good meals for the family (I swear the kids eat tacos 4 nights a week right now).

Sorry to complain, haha.  I am just struggling with it.  Between this baby being a total shocker and gaining unexpected weight, I think I am just taking it hard.  But I am starting to feel better and get more energy, and I have been able to continue doing some workouts at home, as well as being more active as a family, even though I'm not getting out and running as much.

I AM happy, too.  I just find myself worrying a lot (very unnecessarily) about whether the baby will be alright and just haven't fully wrapped my head around all of this.  I never thought I would feel so distant while pregnant!  It is a strange feeling.  I think it will change soon, though, as it becomes more real and I let go of some things.  At my midwife appointment, I didn't really get to hear the heartbeat, which I think has effected me more than I realized.  She had a hard time finding it and had to actually push my uterus up to hear it, because it was tilted back. She was satisfied with what she heard (she could only get it in that position for a few seconds), so I trusted her, but my next appointment isn't for another 4 weeks, so I feel a little weird about that for some reason.

Alright.  Enough about that.

School is going alright with Shea.  He is ahead in everything for his grade level and doing a lot better in classes.  We just applied for something called the "Options" program for next year.  It is a full day alternative public school program that is parent run and is all about building community and student led learning.  I am pretty excited about it (so is Shea!).  Anyway, they have very limited space every year and usually it ends up as a lottery to see who ends up in the program or not, so we find out in a couple of weeks if he makes it in the program. And the idea is that you will stay in the program through 8th grade, building a support network for once you reach High School.  I am really hoping he gets in, if not we will keep doing what we have been, but I think it will be really good for him and our family.  Lately schoolwork has been a total chore and it is hard for me to make it fun for him.  I feel so tied by the workbooks and I just don't want to be that homeschool mom that makes my kid hate learning and think he is only worth value when he does a good job on his work.

What else?  We have continued doing our little church plant thing.  We have around 20ish people who come to a monthly gathering.  Next fall we are thinking about starting more of a service also, but we will see.  Even though we have a fairly consistent group, we haven't really found people who want to be committed leaders.  But it's okay, we don't mind if it takes time.

I don't know what else.  Life has basically been nothing but trying to not feel sick, sleeping a ton (I am in bed at like 830 every night and still tired when I wake up!), doing school with Shea, shopping for a new car (our car cannot fit three carseats across the middle), a few photoshoots here and there, and getting out with the kids to hang out with friends.

Alright, kids are coming up for a bedtime story, so I am off to read some Fancy Nancy.  Goodbye!