its all from You...

I had a mini breakdown last night.  In my bedroom, in the dark, with a fussy baby, I just started sobbing.  No, I don't have postpartum depression.  I was just feeling a little overwhelmed.  The day had started out pretty good.  I braved taking both kids out to a local park where they have a kids garden and master gardeners come and teach them how to plant and let them play in the garden.  Shea loved it!  Especially watering the plants.  I need to get that kid a watering can.  Anyway, it was a nice start to the morning and when we came home, we had lunch and all took a 2 hour nap.  I even did an ab work-out that morning.


Jeremy got off early so he called and asked if I would mind if he went disc golfing with his co-workers.  Of course not.  He was trying to sweeten the deal by telling me to drop Shea off with his parents and then meet him for dinner.  But I wasn't feeling up to getting Shea ready.  Plus, I don't know if I've shared this on here, but my sister-in-law, Tawny, lost her baby again.  This is her third or fourth miscarriage this year, but it was a big surprise, because the other ones she lost very early on, and this time she was into her second trimester.  Anyway, she wanted to bury the remains of the fetus that night, and so she asked me to watch the kids for a little bit.  Plans changed and they put the kids down at their house, and asked if Jeremy could just come over and sit at the house until they got back.  Well, by the time he got home, I still hadn't gotten Shea in bed, because Hailey would not let me put her down.  So he quickly put Shea down and then ran over there.  Neither of us ate dinner, and I ended up going to bed exhausted at 9, because I couldn't really do anything.  So I didn't see my husband, I was hungry, and I felt like I couldn't handle things on my own, since I had been trying to calm down Hailey for three hours so I could give Shea his normal bedtime routine.


That's when I started crying.  But it was a good cry.  You know, that kind of healing, I really needed to cry, cry.  And this morning, I woke up so refreshed.  I realized a couple of things.  Yes, being a mom of two children under 3 is a lot of work.  YES, if we have another, I definitely want to wait until my youngest is 3.5 or 4 by the time he/she is born.  But, I got to figure out how to make it work.


So this morning, we went for a trip.  I took both kids, by myself, to 3 stores.  This might seem silly, but wow I was so scared to do it!  I just had to put baby in a front pack and Shea in the cart, and getting in and out of the car takes forever, so I have to be strategic about what stores I go to in what order and when.


I got a new shirt and skirt today at Target.  I picked up my pictures and finished the baby announcements during Shea's nap (with Hailey in a front pack sleeping - at least she lets me sit while she's in it.  She is in it right as I type this now, in fact.) - they're all stuffed in envelopes and addressed.  I just need to go buy postage.


I even made a pie.  Strawberry-rhubarb-apple.  Yum.  do you know how long it has been since I made a pie?  I have dinner in the oven even.  I don't want a repeat of no dinner for me and Jeremy tonight!

My day has been showered with goodness and gifts.  I have been a little short with Shea, but the constant joy in his eyes and voice and love for his little sister just warm my heart so much.  This is a song that has been in my head lately and my heart.  Trying to remember that "every good and perfect gift is from above", and to actually spot them during the day.  I want my kids to see a mother who sees the goodness of the Lord and shares it with those around her.  What a hard task to turn into a constant habit!

OK and isn't this pictures so funny?  Shea is adorable, but Hailey kind of looks like a stunned fat-man. sorry...I'm a mean mom.  the picture I posted on facebook makes up for it.  Why is it so hard to get a cute picture of both your kids though??

I'll leave you with some cute baby feet.  Hanna sent me a just a few of the newborn pictures - I can't wait to see the rest!  But at least I was able to get our announcements done with the ones she sent over!