After such a wonderful visit in WA, I found it a challenge to come back to the grind here with a positive attitude. It didn't help that when I started work again (Dec. 31st) I was sick with a head cold and cough. I still have it, and I can just feel that I don't have the energy I normally do. People at work have asked if I am about to puke because I look so pale or they say things like I have glassy eyes and don't look well.
Work drama has really put a damper on things, and I found it tough not to feel discouraged and fearful that I'll be stuck in the shipping department and never get a teaching job. I had my worst day at work last week, where I finally got angry because of how one of the guys I work with was treating my other co-worker. We had a discussion about it, and I was so worked up I was shaking. I didn't yell or anything, but I was firm and confronted the guy. After all that was over, and the guys had left the room I just started crying and needed to pull myself back together. I ran off to the bathroom hoping no one would see me, but one lady I work with did. She was really sweet and gave me some encouragement and advice. So after a hug from her I talked to my managers and they came and talked to both the guys. I felt better after the whole thing (lasted about 2 and a half hours) and although I don't think they are going to be any big changes with the dynamics at work, I feel that at least my managers are more aware of the situation.
I have really been working and praying about trusting God with getting a teaching job. I have felt that the reason I have fear and despair is because I just can't see what is ahead and I need to be trusting and totally relying on the one who can.
Becca, this morning your post was such an encouragement because it reminded me of how situations with work can change so quickly. And I have my own exciting news to add, everyday I have been applying to at least one ESL job. Tonight I finally heard something back! I got a reply from a small ESL school in Toronto that is looking for someone for the end of January/beginning of February. They asked if I was interested in an interview, so I wrote back saying of course! I just feel so uplifted just from getting a response and knowing that my applications haven't just been getting lost in the internet abyss.
More happy things, we finally have reading lamps in our bedroom! We have been searching for months for the perfect ones. We wanted some that were a bit antiquey, something that you couldn't just pick up in the store. It has been so hard to find ones that we like that are in our price range and that are a pair. This weekend we finally found them. They were $8 each, (I think they were over priced, but I was so happy to find what we were looking for, I didn't care).
We went out and bought lamp shades and some blue spray paint (Justin made the final decision), and were able to use the space in our basement to spray them. It was a bit tricky because we couldn't remove the cord.
So happy with the result! I had been using a tissue box to reach the light switch from our bed, it's so much nicer to just reach over with my hand and turn off my lamp. Plus the lighting is way better.
Wow I am so impressed by your courage to talk to those guys! I know I would fall more into the trap of just going off and gossiping about it with someone else. Hopefully they will at least be more aware of how they are acting when you are around, since they can see that someone else sees their behavior.
ReplyDeleteI am sitting here killing time...my phone interview is in an hour. I'm not too nervous about it, but I'm really anxious and excited. It was encouraging to read your post right now though! That is so true about things changing so quickly. It's amazing how long a situation can seem to last, but then its over and changed before we know it. And isn't it so true, how a response to an application is so encouraging, even if it doesn't end up being the right job? Praying for you and your search, dear friend!
Also, LOVE that blue color on those lamps! That is so cool. And that's so funny about the tissue box.
Oh my word, that lamp picture looks like it belongs in a magazine and costs $60.
ReplyDeleteI totally know how you start shaking after a tense conversation and feel sick and all. But you are so brave for doing something to try and remedy the situation. Whenever I hear complaining at work, it really annoys me, because I ask them what they're going to do about it. I understand the need to vent sometimes but if it's an ongoing thing that is really affecting your life or your job, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! And you did, because you're awesome and you're a Dickson. Love you and miss you!
Nice work talking to those guys at work! I am with Becca, I probably would have gotten sucked into gossiping, or gone of and complained to others about what they were doing but not confronted the situation myself.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and your job search! It was so so so good to see you when you were down here, I so wish we could do it more often.
Oh and nice work on those lamps!! I want to buy lamps every time I see them at thrift stores and pretty them up but I never do. :) Love it.